Author: Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

Categories
Carolina Panthers

2004 Carolina Panthers loved their steroids



Who wants to inject me in the ass?

The Charlotte Observer today reported that 6 players from the 2004 Super Bowl Panthers team took “disturbing, particularly alarmingly high amounts” of steroids on their late season Super Bowl run. Among the players named by the newspaper are offensive linemen Kevin Donnalley, Jeff Mitchell, Todd Steussie, TE Wesley Walls, Defensive lineman Henry Taylor, and some practice squad scrub. All this was pieced together during the investigation of Dr. James Shortt who plead guilty to illegally distributing steroids and human growth hormone.

The performance enhacing drug of choice was HGH which cannot be detected in urine tests. The NFL does not currently require blood tests. It’s no surprise that the NFL drug testing policy has been called a joke.

The report says that more prescriptions were written to cover up the harmful effect of the original steroids such as shrunken testicles and hair loss for Jeff Mitchell. We don’t have any fancy degrees from any fancy medical schools but we do know that if anything starts shrinking around your groin area, it’s best to stop doing whatever it is you’re doing. That’s just a general rule of thumb for guys.

Remember kids, if you want a leg up on your competition, all you gotta do is shrink your balls.

Links:
[Charlotte Observer]: Medical records of ex-Panthers reveal ill effects, multiple refills leading to Super Bowl

[Charlotte Observer]: NFL needs to clean up steroids act

Categories
New York Yankees

Mickey Mantle’s greatest moment in Yankee Stadium



A real American hero

The folks over at Bad Idea Blue Jeans have dug up a Yankees questionnaire response from Mickey Mantle that, if authentic, would be the most hilarious response to a company survey ever. It sounds like it should have been a Seinfeld episode with George trying to cover up the response.

Mantle was asked to reminisce about his playing career for the 50th anniversary of Yankees stadium in 1973. Under “I consider this my outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium”, Mantle wrote:


I got a blow-job under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bull pen.

It was about the third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn’t fuck at the time. She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum after I came in her mouth. I said don’t ask me, I’m no cock-sucker.

Mickey Mantle is the best Yankee player ever.

If you compare the signature on the questionaire and an actual Mickey Mantle signature (or here), it looks like it could be the real deal. Although it sounds more like something Charles Bukowski would write.

Categories
College Basketball

Stanford Tree banned from 2007 NCAA Womens Tourney


The Stanford Tree first got in trouble when it was played by Erin Lashnits during the Cal-Stanford game in February. Lashnits was drunk off her ass which violated the no-alcohol policy. Then in March, after Tommy Leep replaced Lashnits, the tree got into trouble again for dancing in a undesignated area. The tree was suspended for the rest of the tournament.

Well, now the NCAA has decided to take further action by banning the Tree from the Womens tournament next March.

Leep had a classic quote when asked about the suspension:


I thought this was all settled back in March. I sort of look at the NCAA like an ex-girlfriend trying to come and take the boom box back or something.

What decade is Leep living in? We didn’t think they still made boom boxes.

Links:
[SFGate]: NCAA fines Stanford for mascot’s behavior at Tournament

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Who is Gary Bennett?


1. Take a walk: Who is Gary Bennett? Most people besides Cardinals fans have no idea. But for one weekend, Bennett has captured the baseball world with his performance. After hitting a walk-off single and driving in both Cardinals runs in their 2-1 win on Saturday, he followed that up with an even more impressive performance. With the game tied 6-6 in the bottom of the ninth yesterday, Bennett hit a walk off rand slam that capped a Cardinals sweep of the Cubs. The career backup catcher helped win two games as the Reds lost two, giving St. Louis a three game lead in the division. Here are two interesting tidbits about the NL Central: every team in the division has a three game streak going of some sort (either winning or losing), and the bottom three teams in the division have each allowed exactly 666 runs.

2. Seeing double: Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams are arguably the greatest Yankees from their 98-01 three peat. And yesterday they did something as a duo that they had never done before. Both Jeter and Williams homered twice against the Angels on Sunday as the Yankees won easily 11-8. Williams had his first multi-homer game of the season and drove in 6 RBIs. Jeter continued his incredible success this season with his two blasts and three runs. Both Williams and Robinson Cano went 4-5 on the day as the Yankees extended their divisional dominance. They lead by 6.5 with one week left before September.

3. Rebound: Mark Buehrle needed a good start. His ERA had inflated to almost 5 after multiple bad performances since the All Star break. But yesterday Buehrle finally got what he needed: a win. He allowed one run in 7 innings against the Twins for his 11th victory this year. He has 11 losses, however, and his ERA is still over six since the break. But he gave the White Sox a win in their last game of the series against Minnesota, though they still remain a half-game back of the Twins. The Tigers also won yesterday, meaning the White Sox remain 5.5 back.

4. Logjam atop the NL Wildcard: Cincinatti, which looked like they could even challenge for the division title, lost 3 in a row over the weekend to the Giants leaving them in danger of being caught in the wildcard race. The Padres did not help themselves by going 1-2 over the weekend and remain 1/2 game back. Meanwhile, the Phillies were rained out on Sunday but remain 1 game back after splitting the first two with the Mets. And of course, don’t count out San Francisco, who have moved to within 2 games. Should be a photo finish.

5. Let’s hope he doesn’t throw a bat: The Devils Rays are expected to call up Delmon Young from the minors on Tuesday. Just this April, Delmon was suspended 50 games for throwing a bat at an umpire after he disagreed with a call. The Rays find themselves with an open roster spot after Jonny Gomes hit the DL and sent Ty Wigginton down to Triple-A. They are trying to determine if Young can be their everyday rightfielder next season.

Categories
MLB General

August 28 in Sports History: Little League World Series

In 1993: Long Beach (CA) became the first U.S. team to repeat as Little League World Series champs with a 3-2 victory over Panama. Only South Korea and Mexico have won back-to-back titles. Long Beach was led by Sean Burroughs, a future first-round draft choice of the Padres (1999) and the son of former major leaguer Jeff Burroughs. (baseball library.com)

The New York Mets made one of the silliest draft choices in baseball history when they selected pitcher Kirk Presley with the eighth pick in the first round. Although they paid Presley a handsome $960,000 bonus, he never made it out of Single-A. The Mets passed on players such as Billy Wagner, Derrek Lee, Jason Varitek, Chris Carpenter and Torii Hunter to select a distant relative of Elvis Presley. They eventually paid Wagner $40 million to sign as a free agent in 2006. (baseball-almanac.com)

In 1942: The Chicago Bears defeated the NFL All-Stars 21-0 before 75,000 fans in the New York City . As a precursor to the modern day Pro Bowl, the popular exhibition pitted an NFL team against a collection of pro players from other teams. In later years, NFL teams would play a team of college all-stars. The games were very competitive (despite this lopsided score) and drew large crowds, including some over 100,000. (footballsearchengine.com)

Categories
MLB General

MLB Power Rankings Roundup for Aug 25 2006

As expected, the Red Sox took the biggest tumble this week across the board after the disaster that was last weekend at Fenway. However they still manage to stay in the Top 10 in all rankings. This week, the Angels and A’s make some moves as the AL West race heads into the home stretch.

Here are your MLB Power Rankings by top sites this week.

Rank Sportscolumn ESPN FoxSports Sportsline USA Today TSN.ca
1 Tigers Mets Tigers Tigers Tigers Yankees
2 Mets Yankees Yankees Mets Yankees Angels
3 Yankees White Sox Mets Yankees White Sox Tigers
4 White Sox Tigers White Sox As Mets Dodgers
5 Twins Twins Twins White Sox Twins White Sox
6 A’s A’s A’s Dodgers A’s Twins
7 Red Sox Angels Red Sox Twins Red Sox Red Sox
8 Cardinals Reds Angels Angels Dodgers Mets
9 Angels Padres Blue Jays Cardinals Angels A’s
10 Blue Jays Red Sox Dodgers Reds Blue Jays Blue Jays
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
Denver Broncos

Ashley Lelie stands to make -$500,000 this year



I’m… poor beeeyotch!

After losing his $100,000 workout bonus and getting fined $14,000 a day for missing camp, Ashley Lelie owes the Denver Broncos about $1.1M. For someone who will make $600,000 this year, that has to be the dumbest holdout in the history of the NFL.

Sometimes, those daily fines are waived when the player eventually comes into camp and signs a new contract. However, as part of the trade agreement, the Broncos made him sign an agreement that allows them to recoup that $1.1M and they are likely to do so to discourage others from such a foolish holdout.

Shanahan states that the draft pick the Broncos got in return for Lelie was secondary to the penaltieis.


It wasn’t really the pick as much as I just wanted to make sure that they knew whatever the prorated signing bonus was and whatever the fines were that that was going to be a hefty amount. That’s a lot of money to pay back. And when that was agreed to, then we talked about compensation relative to what we should get for his services and we were able to do that.

Good work, Ashley. You didn’t want to be a #3 WR so you got yourself traded to the Falcons to be a… #3 WR and now owe half a million. Genius.

Links:
[ESPN]: If Broncos demand all that’s due, Lelie may pay to play

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Pacman Jones gets screwed


As we know by now, Pacman Jones loves the nightclubs. Well, last night Pacman was arrested for public drunkeness and disorderly conduct outside a Tennessee nightclub. According to the police, Jones was arguing loudly with a woman who he accused of stealing his wallet when police approached him and saw his state of drunkeness. The wallet had $750 in it.

First, Pacman Jones is only holding $750? That reminds us of the time one of our friends chastised Adam Duritz at the craps table because he was only betting $5 a roll. You don’t have to carry a wad of hundreds but have something a little more respectable than $750. Second, while this is somewhat of a BS arrest, it comes right after the Tennessean.com published a “human interest piece” on Jones’ hard-scrabble childhood and how he is more focused on football this season. The charges were later dismissed but the way the media works, fans will only remember that he was arrested.

Links:
[MSNBC]: ‘Pacman’ Jones arrested outside night club

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Jered Weaver finally goes down



What losing feels like

1. Finally defeated: One of the greatest streaks this baseball season is finally over. Jered Weaver of the Angels, who had won his first 9 career decisions, lost for the first time yesterday to the Boston Red Sox. But Weaver didn’t have a bad start; in fact he allowed only one run and four hits in six innings. His only fault was allowing a David Ortiz homerun, Ortiz’s 46th of the season. But he lost due to lack of run support as the Angels put up no runs with him in the game. The broken streak left him tied with Whitney Ford as the only pitchers who won their first 9 games as a rookie. Boston’s 2-1 win gave them the series win over the Angels after their disastrous 5 game sweep against the Yankees last weekend. They stand 5.5 back from New York still in the division.

2. Showing off: In terms of talent level, the Twins might be the most solid all-around team in baseball. With their excellent starters, MLB-best bullpen, and dangerous young hitters, they can do everything well. The only thing they need is a new stadium and some fans to go along with it. Yesterday, they dismantled the Orioles 11-2 in an offensive outpour. Joe Mauer, who leads all batters with a .361 average, had 3 hits and 4 RBIs on the day to lead the charge. Justin Morneau hit his 32nd homer, while Michael Cuddyer went 4-4 and drove in 4 runs. The Twins won their second straight and 7th out of 10, though they still trail Chicago by a half-game. The White Sox won again yesterday over Detroit. The two teams will start a pivotal three-game series today.

3. Call it a draw: We now have co-division leaders in one division. That’s the NL Central, as the Reds and Cardinals are now tied with both teams going in different directions. That’s another way of saying the Reds are hot while the Cards are sucking it up. St. Louis got swept by the Mets yesterday when New York defeated them 6-2. Meanwhile, Cincy started off their series against San Fran well, with a 6-3 victory. The Cardinals will look to start winning against their rival Cubs over the weekend, while the Reds will play the Giants three more times as part of a 10-game West Coast trip.

4. Losing team, winning pitcher: Where would the Cubs be without Carlos Zambrano? Even further down the standings, most likely. They are 40-68 in games the Zambrano does not record a decision, while his record is 14-5. He got his NL-leading 14th yesterday against the Phillies, and now Zambrano is one of the leading Cy Young candidates in the league. He ranks first in wins and strikeouts in addition to innings pitched and opponent’s batting average. His 3.31 ERA isn’t in the top 5 but that doesn’t really matter in a year when no NL pitcher is below 2.90. In the end Zambrano will be a leading Cy candidate and will face off with the Diamondbacks’ Brandon Webb for the honors.

5. Back to the Past: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to play baseball in the pre-World Series era? When a walk was six balls, a foul didn’t count as a strike, a hit batter was only a ball, and the umpires were addressed as “sir?” Well, here’s your chance. Former major league pitcher Jim Bouton announced the creation of the Vintage Base Ball Federation, or VBBF. The teams will play using pre-1900’s rules and equipment. They will play games over the course of an unspecified season and will play a VBBF World Series next August. Now there’s something to get excited about!

Categories
New York Mets

August 25 in Sports History: Doc Gooden enters the record books


In 1985: Dwight Gooden of the New York Mets became the youngest pitcher ever to record 20 wins in a season with a 9-3 victory over the Padres. “Doctor K” was 20 years and nine months, one month older than Bob Feller, who previously held the record. Gooden won the pitching Triple Crown that year with a 24-4 record, 1.53 ERA and 268 strikeouts. He helped the Mets win the World Series in 1986, but substance abuse and off-the-field problems ruined what probably would have been a Hall of Fame career. He became a journeyman instead, drifting to the Yankees (where he threw a no-hitter in 1996), Indians, Astros and Devil Rays. He retired as a Yankee in 2000. (baseballlibrary.com)

In 1939: The first nationally televised Major League Baseball game took place in Cincinnati, with a doubleheader between the Dodgers and the Reds. The game was broadcast by Red Barber over W2XBS, and the teams split the doubleheader. In 1995, Windows 95 debuted, and in 1853, potato chips were invented by chef George Crum (seriously). (Magic City Morning Star)