Boston Red Sox

"Hello, you play to win the game!"

Listen up Red Sox fans; you’re probably stoked about being up 2-0 in the World Series, but do you have any idea what kind of irreparable damage could be done should your boys go on to victory? According to a professor of American culture and history at Bates College, you’re looking at a serious case of identity crisis.

Margaret Creighton says that all those years of being complete and total losers has taken over the souls of the Sox faithful and winning would be such a shock to the system that the entire fan base could potentially experience full-blown existential meltdowns.

It’s really quite jarring for Red Sox fans now to have to deal with success, and it might be repeated,” Creighton told the Sun Journal of Lewiston. “Once could be a fluke, getting rid of the curse … But twice? This is very challenging and, to a degree, upsetting.”

A fan herself, the professor in 2005 taught “Red Sox Nation,” a course examining the culture and history of the team and fans, and she plans to offer it again next year.

The underdog mentality has been forged by decades of disappointment, she said.

Fans think, “We may be scruffy, we may look like ruffians, but we’re scrappy and we fight and work hard,” Creighton said.

Citizens of Red Sox Nation remain fundamentally pessimistic, even after the 2004 victory, she said. “When the Red Sox were down 3-1 against Cleveland, it felt very familiar, almost a little comfortable, because this is where we’ve been.”

Success, she said, would bring accusations that Red Sox fans are arrogant, haughty, “that the Red Sox are the Yankees,” Creighton said. She questions whether fans can handle a second championship “with a degree of humility.”

First off, where the heck were these classes when we were in college? If we had courses like “Super Bowl History” and “NBA: 101” then we might have been able to graduate on the four-year plan.

Secondly, we can’t believe that this broad had the audacity to question the Red Sox loyalists’ ability to display “humility.” If Red Sox fans are anything, it’s meek and humble.


[]: Professor questions whether Sox fans can cope with success

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