Tag: brett favre

Categories
Green Bay Packers

Lions, Vikings and Bears fans rejoice: Favre will be back!



Yes! Another INT closer to 277

Fans all over the NFC North are celebrating today. Brett Favre has announced that he will be back for the 2006 season. After sitting on the pot for 4 months, the gunslinger is back to break the all-time INT record. Like all competitive athletes, Favre is back to prove that he is in fact the best — the best interception thrower in the history of the NFL. Take that, George Blanda!

They are going wild in the streets of Detroit, Minnesota and Chicago today because they are guaranteed easy victories over one of their division rivals and any coach or player with INT incentives will be able to reach them. Hmmmm… perhaps not all over the NFC north — they can’t be celebrating in Green Bay. All this does is delay the development of first round draft pick Aaron Rodgers so that the Packers will be a bad to mediocre team for at least another two years.

Fans will argue that Favre has earned the right to play another season in the NFL. Yes, we agree. But that season was 2002.


Links:
[Green Bay Press-Gazette]: Favre tells Packers he’ll be back
[Sportscolumn]: Even Packers fans are sick of Favre

Categories
Satire

The Friday Sports Satire Roundup: Not so much a roundup

From The Sports Pickle, one of our favorite sites, comes this excellent take on Favre’s retirement.

Brett Favre tells waitress he needs another 45 minutes to look over the menu

Brett Favre entered his fourth hour of deciding what he would like to eat for dinner this evening at a Waveland, Mississippi, Olive Garden with no end in sight.

“Brett and his wife got here around 5:15 pm and I was excited to wait on them,” said Mindy Payne, the Favre’s waitress. “But this is getting a little ridiculous now. My shift was over two hours ago and I’m still waiting for the guy to make up his mind. It’s really rude on his part. Not only am I supposed to be home by now, but other people want a table.”

Favre said he is close to making up his mind, but needs a bit more time.

“Supposedly the kitchen closes at 11 pm, and that makes me feel kind of rushed,” said Favre. “I’m close to deciding on an appetizer – the fried calamari – so I’m getting there. As for entrees, though, I don’t have a clue. I’m hoping they’ll come up with some great new menu items by the time I have to decide and it will make my decision a lot easier.”

The Olive Garden’s manager, Mike Redd, said he may have to decide to ask the quarterback to leave.
“It’s tough to ask a local legend like Brett Favre to leave your establishment,” said Redd. “But he’s taking advantage of our goodwill. He’s been here for going on five hours and hasn’t paid a dollar yet while we’re losing business because we can’t get other customers to a table. I’ve really lost a lot of respect for the guy.”

(Republished with permission from Sportspickle.com.)

If you were looking for more satire stories this week, we don’t have any for you. It was a pretty weak offering by the usual suspects this week, except for this excellent sportsgraphic NHL Season Highlights from the Onion.

Categories
Green Bay Packers

Favre passes T.O. for biggest ego



Favre loves him some Favre

Brett Favre has quietly passed T.O. for having the biggest ego in sports. On Saturday, after a “family friend” (we’re giving 3-1 odds that it was actually Favre with a Darth Vader voice changer) alerted reporters that Favre would make an announcement about his decision, a whole bunch of reporters showed up at his charity golf tournament just to be chastised by Favre.

What did you guys waste a trip down here for? Y’all brought the cold weather, too.

Perhaps the reason the media wasted a trip down there is that you wanted some pub for your little golf tournament and you wanted to be in the papers again so Packers fans and management can beg you to stay for one more year.

Last week, Favre caught some flak for saying “What are they going to do, cut me?” He defended that statement this weekend with “If you know me, you’re not concerned about that comment.” What? So, if we knew you at all, we’d know you’re a selfish arrogant s-o-b and wouldn’t be concerned about that statement. Gotcha.

Finally, if you want to see some very different reports of the same event, check out the links below for the articles from a Biloxi MS newspaper, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal, and the Associated Press. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel even has an article by Bill Glauber subtitled Favre is just like everyone else: Big decisions take time. The difference is that most people quietly make a decision and go with it. They don’t hog the media spotlight in an effort to gratify their own ego.

Links:
[Sun Herald (Mississippi)]: For Favre, it’s still a no-decision

[Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]: Favre wants a Super Bowl contender

[AP]: Favre’s scoop? He’s still firmly undecided