Categories
Boston Red Sox

Red Sox sue to keep World Series ball

I know everyone says possession is 9/10 the law but I think the Red Sox pulled a fast one on Doug Mientkiewicz. When he loaned the ball to the Sox, the loan agreement stated he would get the ball back after a year ”unless the ultimate issue of ownership has been otherwise resolved.”

I guess he thought it wouldn’t get resolved and he’d get the ball back. Not so fast. Boston and their lawyers are suing to keep the ball. I don’t know where you guys side on this one but it seems to be like a museum deciding to keep a painting they got on loan from someone.

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NFL General

Rolling Stones will be Super Bowl XL halftime entertainment

We went from old (Janet Jackson) to older (Paul McCartney) to nearly dead (Rolling Stones).  I guess the NFL understands the demographics of the people who will be in attendance in Detroit.  I’m surprised it’s not eminem or Kid Rock but they might be too hip for the corporate fat cats who invade the Super Bowl every year.

I believe next year, the entertainment will be Janis Joplin and Jim Hendrix.

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Philadelphia Eagles

TO more important than war in Iraq

Arlen Specter, Senator from Pennsylvania and avid Iggles fan, decided that more important than the War in Iraq and the economy was the TO situation. He stated that the Eagles’ punishment was “vindictive and inappropriate” and is considering referring the matter to the antitrust subcommittee of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Legal experts say his the antitrust charge holds less water than his insane magic bullet theory.

Some players get name dropped by rappers; TO trumps them all by getting the attention of a US senator! Take that, Jevon Kearse! (Wu Tang for those of you wondering.)

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College Football

Coaching leads to drunk driving

Coaching kids who can’t drink must be really hard for people. On Saturday night, two coaches were arrested on drunk driving charges. We understand why Ohio Coach Frank Solich would drink himself into a stupor and pass out at his steering wheel — his team is 4-7 and stinks. But why would an assistance coach at Cinci do it? They are 3-0. Yet, doing Solich one better, Keith LeGree was found passed out on the wheel with his foot on the brake, a plastic cup and an open bottle by his side.

These guys shouldn’t worry too much though. They have bright futures. Drunk driving apparently is a gateway to political power.

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Philadelphia Eagles

Ashes at the Linc not just remains of Eagles’ season

Christopher Noteboom ran onto Lincoln Financial field during the Eagles-Packers game with a bag full of his mother’s ashes and spread them onto the field as a final tribute to his mother, who was a lifelong Eagles fan. Normally, we consider people running onto the field idiots but we’ll cut this guy some slack since it was an original idea. Still, in this heightened terrorist climate, I’m not sure letting a bunch of white/gray powder go in a crowded stadium is the smartest of moves.

Luckily, this wasn’t done during the Cowboys heyday or Michael Irvin would’ve hoovered up the powder before it ever hit the ground.

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New York Giants

Shockey suffers from Premature Celebration

Premature celebration is a horrific disease that affects 1 out of every million jackasses in the country. The last known case in NY involved Michael Strahan pointing to the scoreboard in a game against San Francisco in 2002, only to have the Niners come back and win the game.

In the latest high profile case, Jeremy Shockey was afflicted with the disease during a potential game winning field goal by Jay Feely against the Seattle Seahawks. Though not fatal, premature celebration does result in red face, looking ridiculously stupid, and belittlement from others across the country.

To learn more about Premature Celebration, visit www.jeremyshockey.com.

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NFL General

Michael Irvin says crack pipe not his

Following in the time honored tradition of athletes caught with drugs or drug paraphernalia, Irvin went to the “it’s a friend’s” explanation. Stating that he didn’t want his kids to stumble upon the crack pipe of a friend who recently got out of rehab (boy, those Miami players are always willing to help people out), Irvin claimed he put the pipe in his car and forgot about it.

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NFL General

Lisa Guerrero in Playboy

Former MNF sideline reporter is reportedly posing for playboy. While not my favorite sideline reporter, (that would be Melissa Stark) Lisa was definitely fun to look at.

Meanwhile, we’re stuck with Michele Tafoya. Great.

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All Other Sports

Greatest Sports Headline Ever

Kudos to Deadspin for finding the greatest sports headline in the history of mankind:

     NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow

Not to be lost in the article is the line:

The International Badminton Federation (IBF) has decided not to take the Black Cocks lying down.”

Categories
Philadelphia 76ers

Worst Trend in the NBA

I went to a Warriors game last year and the halftime entertainment was a dance team made up of a bunch of really fat guys. It was mildly amusing. However, the Sixers are having an open call for a new dance team called Broad Street Beefcakes. Perhaps I’m being sexist but no one wants to watch a bunch of guys dancing around. If this miraculously works and somehow attracts a larger female audience at Sixers home games, expect more innovations like Free Mullet Haircut Night to attract the NASCAR crowd.