Category: All Other Sports

Roll up bitch! Roll up!

I’m not even sure where to begin with this story. It seems the “bad boy” of ice skating, Johnny Weir, is trying to attract some of the media spotlight… by saying exactly what he wants, mister!

On the lodgings at the Olympic Village:

I am very princessy as far as travel is concerned and having a nice room and things like that. It’s a little dusty, very underdecorated, the beds aren’t very soft but I’m enjoying it!

Bode Miller, you know, huge props to him for saying what he wants to and not being sugarcoated. [Such an attitude] makes me interesting for figure skating and makes him interesting for skiing. … I assume he and I feel very similar.

I’m not sure but I think Bode Miller just got a dinner invitation.

[MSNBC]: Weir says he won’t stop being ‘princessy’

mmmmm re-creamed cream corn

Only 2 more days until Wing Bowl 14 folks! What started out as a promotional gag on WIP “sports” radio in Philly has turned into a huge event. They now host it in the Wachovia Center and more people attend it than Philadelphia Soul games. This year, it’s the virgin Wing Bowl so only first time contestants can participate.

Like the NFL playoffs, the qualifying rounds are better than the actual thing. There’s something quite cathartic about watching a bunch of fat slobs eating disgusting stuff. Here are some of the best videos (Real Player format) from the qualifying rounds:

Dr. Winglove and 5 lbs. of corn
Joey drinks gallon of milk in :41
Big Puss attempts 7 Quarter Pounders in 5 minutes
The Dumpster eats a tray of McDonald’s cheeseburgers and French fries in 7 mins

If you’re a multiplatinum artist who also owns an Arena Football League team, you might as well use your …uh… drawing power to get people to your games. Bon Jovi will RAAAAWK the Wachovia Center this Sunday when the Philadelphia Soul take on the Los Angeles Avengers. That Jon Bongiovi sure is a shrewd marketer. If you buy a ticket to the game with Bon Jovi at halftime, you also have to buy a ticket to another game. Sure it’s a gimmick but they want to keep ’em coming back! You know, since they haven’t been able to sign superstar Freddie Mitchell yet.

Now as much as I want to hear Have a Nice Day for the millionth time and perhaps You Give Love a Bad Name, I think I’ll pass. I think there’s another game going on this weekend that I’d probably rather concentrate on. That’s just me. Already 13,000 tickets have been sold to the event.

[Philly.com]: Bon Jovi to perform at halftime of Soul game Sunday

I didn’t think it was that big of a deal when Bode Miller said it was hard to ski while wasted. But Bode now seems to suffer from TO syndrome – the inability to keep his mouth shut. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Miller suggested that Lance Armstrong and Barry Bonds are both cheating by taking performance enhancing drugs.

Right now, if you want to cheat, you can: Barry Bonds and those guys are just knowingly cheating, but there’s all sorts of loopholes,” he told the magazine.” If you say it has to be ‘knowingly,’ you do what Lance (Armstrong) and all those guys do, where every morning their doctor gives them a box of pills and they don’t ask anything, they just take the pills.

[CBS5.com]: Bode: Bonds, Armstrong ‘Knowingly Cheat
[Sirius.com]: Ask Bode Anything (“Bode, what % of baseball players are on steroids?”)
[Bodelicious.net]: Bode Miller profile

This blogging thing is getting out of control. Flying Frank is the latest internet celebrity that makes no sense. He’s a greyhound who has his own blog (interests: “I just chill with me bitches. Oh yes and I like dogging”), a column for the Sun, and has launched a campaign to save his race track from a greedy housing developer.  There’s a rumor that the developer is dressing up as a ghost to scare the locals away but that is unconfirmed.

The scary thing is that dozens of British celebrities have joined in his cause including Simon Jones, Brian Lara, Teddy Sheringham, and other people we’ve never heard of. I suspect it’s only a matter of time before attention whore Curt Schilling makes his way across the pond to toss his 2 cents in about this issue.

Sadly, this is only the second worst dog blog we’ve ever seen. But we don’t like housing developers taking away the people’s right to drink and bet their money… unless they’re building a casino. So go ahead and sign the petition.

[Savethestow.com]: Petition to save Walthamstow Stadium
[BBC]: Dog with a blog

I know this sounds like a bad movie but you can’t make this stuff up. Bud Light is sponsoring a nationwide tournament for Rock Paper Scissors with a grand prize of $50,000. So if you’re running a gym in financial trouble and you need to raise some money so the big corporate global gym across the street doesn’t shut you down, you may want to sign up.

Starting in January in bars all across the U.S., competitors 21 and older will have the opportunity to play the sport in a classic tournament ladder structure. In April, more than 500 finalists and their guests will be flown to The House of Blues at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas to play for a grand prize of $50,000.

Check out the USA Rock Paper Scissors League website. I can’t tell if this is real or a hoax. Am I high?

[Georgia Sports Blog]: Bud Light Signs on with Rock Paper Scissors Championships

Daddy’s girl

No wonder why she lost her first round match, it’s hard to concentrate on tennis when your dad is completely insane. Damir Dokic threatened to drop a nuclear bomb on Sydney and ranted about how Australia is a spoiled nation that cost his daughter her match. Jelena, wisely, is estranged from this nut job.

“They can expect my revenge. I’m not crazy when I say this. They are the crazy ones who give you hot sausages before the match when it’s 40 degrees Celsius outside.”

Those Aussie bastards! I’m not sure but I think 40 Celsius is about 150 degrees F. The nerve to serve hot sausages! They certainly deserve to be nuked.

[Sydney Morning Herald]: Damir retracts rant on radio
[Sydney Morning Herald]: Settle down Damir, we have a spare Scud in our arsenal

We love Maria Sharapova and now apparently, so does Andy Roddick. First Mandy Moore, then Paris Hilton, now Maria. Roddick is like the Fez of the tennis world. Can you imagine the superhuman tennis offspring that these two would create? It’d be unfair to everyone. It’s like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt creating a superhuman movie star. (Although it could go the other way and both kids be uncoordinated and ugly.)

The Melbourne Herald-Sun is reporting that Sharapova has spent a couple evenings watching Roddick playing poker and has speculated they are more than friends. As boring as poker is to watch, it must be love. Have you ever watched someone else play poker? It’s about as entertaining as, well, a tennis match.

[FoxSports]: Roddick-Sharapova rumors swirl Down Under

Ok. I’m sorry. I started out blogging a story about how the WWE announced it was going to start drug screening its athletes in the wake of the death of Eddie Guerrero. But then I somehow got suckered into watching a Lingerie Pillow Fight match and I realized what a joke this is. From here on out, professional wrestling is banned from Sportscolumn unless someone dies.

Or unless a couple of the girls gets caught having sex in the bathroom of a nightclub.

We don’t normally cover wrestling here at SC because, well, wrestling isn’t a sport.  But when I saw this story of Ric Flair, I had to post it because 1) Ric Flair was around when I still thought wrestling was real and 2) bleached blond hair is a bad idea under mug shot lights.

Ric Flair was arrested for grabbing a man by the neck and kicking a dent in his SUV after stopping him in an intersection. I can’t wait for the trial where Ric Flair addresses himself in the third person and pokes the prosecuting attorney in the eye.

• Six Meat Buffet: Say It Ain’t So, Nature Boy!
• Wikipedia: Ric Flair Bio