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‘Trade Barry’? More like ‘Jail Barry’

It turns out the ‘Trade Barry’ billboard near Willie Mays Park (we refuse to keep up with corporate mergers just so we can correctly call the name of a ballpark) was an ad campaign for Topps. The champaign got a lot of buzz but don’t expect a run on Topps baseball cards unless they start listing steroids used on the back.

Barry’s got more pressing problems today. Remember how we thought Jail Isiah was a little overboard? Well, JailBarry.com is still available (just link to us ok?) and it might actually be accurate (though highly unlikely). We’re not sure why it took them this long but a grand jury has come to the conclusion that Barry Bonds might have perjured himself in his testimony in 2003 about the Balco scandal.

Here’s the game summary.

Barry: I didn’t take steroids.
Game of Shadows: Barry took steroids.
Everyone: We believe Game of Shadows.
Feds: Hmmm… that might be perjury. Let’s take a year to sort it out.

Bud Selig may be inept, and sometimes federal investigators are inept, but there’s a difference between Selig and the Feds. The Feds don’t care if Barry goes down. So when they start looking into Bonds’ life, how soon until that tax evasion charge comes up again?

We thought maybe Bonds was over-dramatizing when he said this spring that his life was in shambles and that he might jump off a bridge. But maybe he understood what was coming down the pike. Don’t worry Barry fans, he loves himself too much to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. And even if he does, he’ll make sure he breaks the record of that white guy first, and since he’s hitting .188, that might not be until the end of summer.

Links:
[CBS 5]: ‘Trade Barry!’ Billboard Is Topps Baseball Card Ad
[SFGate.com]: Bonds’ doctor is subpoenaed
Grand jury looking into whether slugger’s steroid denial was perjury

By Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

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