How much money does T.O. need?

We can understand the books and the rap song. Well, we can’t really understand it… but they both feed T.O.’s massive ego. But how much crap does Owens have to sell to feed his family? We thought that he got his money from Dallas? Does he really need to sell Terrell Owens Custom White Stadium Cup’s [sic]? What crony does he have running his site?

Our homemade TO cup: Free!

Here’s a list of the stuff TO is selling.

• T.O. rap song download (up to 5!) or CD single for $3.99: Only if we were forced to either listen to this or the Black Eyed Peas. And it’d be damn close. (To clarify, we think the BEP have set hip hop back 40 years.) How many songs do you think the web site has sold? 1? During testing?
• T.O. vintage 2004 wall calendar for $5.00: You’ve got to be kidding me.

• Ten (10) blue and white bracelets that either have Destination Miami or Getcha Popcorn Ready #81 for $10.00: We’ll admit that if we were Cowboys fans, this wouldn’t be so bad.

• Terrell Owens 3″ Eagles figurine for $9.99: There must still be an Eagles fan out there who doesn’t know about the T.O. debacle and is dumb enough to buy this.

• T.O. 16 oz white stadium cup for $10.00 : Oh but look, you can preorder a 22 oz stadium cup for the same price! Hot damn that’s a bargain. Or if you’re a real T.O. fan, you can order his FAN CLUB PACKAGE for $59. For an additional $49, you get a hat (which you can’t get anywhere else!), a download of his rap song, and ummmmm… a chance to win a trip to meet and greet T.O. in Dallas. Actually, this might not be so bad. Considering no one will buy this, your chances of getting to Dallas and punching T.O. in the head might be pretty good. Then again, there are plenty of morons out there.

We’re dying to know how much of this crap T.O. has sold. And why.