Orson Welles?
In honor of Barkley’s induction into the Hall of Fame, here are some of the best quotes from the Round Mound of Rebound. They’re from various sources on the net. Man, Charles Barkley has a lot of quotes. No wonder why reporters loved him.
- You know the world is off tilt when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest basketball player is Chinese and Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
- I don’t listen to refs. I don’t listen to anyone who makes less money than I do.
- I don’t like the people of Boston. I think I should call Ripley’s because they have the greatest collection of assholes ever up here.
- You can’t compare preseason to regular season. Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money.
- When a guy comes down the lane, I want him to be wondering what side I’m going to hit him front.
- If I were seven feet tall, I’d be illegal in three states.
- You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I’m the best looking guy in the world. And I might be right.
- There will never be another player like me. I’m the ninth wonder of the world.
- Having [Moses Malone] around means there’s somebody uglier than me on the team.
- (Letter to Bill Laimbeer) Dear Bill, Fuck you. Love, Charles Barkley.
- I thought Bill Laimbeer was the whiniest, most despicable, most disgusting guy in the game. On the other hand, I always respected him as a player.
- There are only three things in life that I have to do. I have to stay black, I have to pay taxes and I have to die. Other than that, don’t tell me what to do.
- I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I’d work for the Klan.
- (On Josh Smith’s dunk) That’s impossible. That’s like Dick Cheney trying to find another hunting partner.
- I’m gonna go home and get naked again in the mirror cuz I don’t look like Rerun or Al Roker. There’s some deception going on. I’m not fat y’all! I’m big-boned.
- I hope a lot of these young kids look at [Dwayne Wade], who went to college. Everybody is in such a hurry. Hey, the money is not going anywhere… and if you go to the right college, you can get paid there… Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee
- (To Steve Kerr) Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn’t shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive.
- (To Kenny Smith) Oh man! I can’t stand the X-Files! I don’t believe in Extra-Terrestrials… until I saw your girlfriend one night. She needs to phone home.
- (On fat people) First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can’t make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can’t keep their mouths shut. Now they’re killing the McDonald’s super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don’t work out and can’t keep they’re mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They’ll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can’t stop eating? I’m so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!
- (To AC Green) If god’s so good, how come he didn’t give you a jump shot?
- I love Sam Cassell, he’s a great guy… but he does look like E.T.
- In four years, I’ll be the first black governor of Alabama. In eight years, I’ll be the first black president
- I saw what the governor makes. That’s like four hands of blackjack.
- I don’t care what people think. People are stupid.
