Pittsburgh Steelers

Hey, Vegas, what did Big Ben ever do to you?

Las Vegas is a city of loose morals and low class, but we’ve always known that. They simply reassured us all of that the other day when the LVPD put on a demonstration showing the deadly dangers of car/pedestrian collisions. Uh, duh! But the sheer stupidity of the story isn’t what got us riled up, it was the fact that the crash test dummy was wearing a Ben Roethlisberger jersey!

This has Peabody written all over it.

Then to show the dangers of illegal drugs, the Vegas cops set up a table with white powder all over it and had a dummy wearing a Len Bias jersey slumped over in a chair.


[]: Ben Roethlisberger Made into a Crash Test Dummy. Classless!

NFL General

Joey Porter vs. Levi Jones and it doesn’t even cost $49.95!

We heard the other day that a video of the Las Vegas Palms casino brawl between Levi Jones and Joey Porter had surfaced, but we kept thinking that this was just some ruse to get us all excited before an eventual letdown. You know, kinda like when you finally saw Ghost Rider. But we were wrong, the video actually exists and Porter actually is a cheap shot artist.

And you thought that Joey was just faking insanity when he did the “Dean Scream” (or any of the dozen or so other incidents) during the Monday Night Football lineups.


[Awful Announcing]: Jay Glazer’s FOX Exclusive Tape of The Joey Porter – Levi Jones Fight

Miami Heat

Shaq doesn’t pay for sex, he pays them to leave afterward

Remember when Kobe was accused of raping that girl in Colorado? It was a minor case so you might not have heard of it. Anyway, back when that happened, Kobe remarked that he should just pay them hush money to go away like Shaq does and told police that Shaq paid $1M in total for such a situation. Well it turns out that Kobe was partially right.

You see, Shaq probably did some girls hush money, but then he also paid prostitutes straight up for sex according to the NY Post. And the type of prostitutes he used are the discrete type. A Las Vegas police report detailing the operation of a madam named Esperanza Brooks that was made public this week and included the names of Shaquille O’Neal and Bill Clinton.

Oh and to top it off, Esperanza Brooks worked as a cheerleading coach at the Andre Agassi College Prep Academy. Now that’s a hell of a farm system.

[MSNBC]: Shaq angrily denies paying sex hush money

NBA General

MGM exec blames low earnings on NBA All-Star Game

MGM Mirage Inc’s CEO blamed his company’s lower than expected earnings in Q1 on the NBA All-Star Game. According to Terry Lanni, all the gangbangers that flooded into Las Vegas for All-Star weekend kept the high rollers (especial the ones from Asia in town to celebrate the Chinese New year) in their suites.

The gang-bangers and others who came for purposes other than attending the game, they weren’t very good for Las Vegas. In talking to our casino hosts, a number of people stayed in their villas and suites. They felt uncomfortable.

I used to do something that kinda remotely resembled preparing numbers for earnings reports and we used to make up excuses all the time for why we missed them but we never went so far as to stereotype two groups of people and blame an entire shitty quarter on one weekend. Although we did use “9/11 effect” for about 4 years… Anyway, Terry Lanni went on to say that David Stern could take his NBA franchise in Vegas and shove it. The last thing they need in Vegas are people afraid to walk around with tons of cash in their pockets. That cash is for the casinos, not for you thugs.

[ESPN]: Casino exec: All-Star Game wasn’t good for business news services

Cincinnati Bengals

Levi Jones calls Joey Porter a coward

A couple of weeks ago, Joey Porter was arrested for punching Levi Jones in the face. It was widely reported that Levi was knocked down and had to be treated for a gash above his eye. Well, Levi Jones would like you to know that he’s tougher than that.

It was problematic for me and my family, especially when the true story wasn’t out there. The particulars about how everything went down, I mean, ESPN, all they wanted to report was Joey Porter hit me in the face.

Six guys attacked me from behind before he did it. When the true story came out, ESPN still didn’t want to report it.

He (Porter) got my attention from the front and wouldn’t get near me until the six guys jumped me from behind, (then) he took part.

First of all, ESPN not reporting all the facts in the story? Shocking. Second, if true, Levi Jones’s account of the fight fits right in line with how we feel about Joey Porter. It wouldn’t suprise us in the least if Porter was the type to let his buddies do the work.

[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Jones: Vegas fracas an ambush

Tennessee Titans

More on the Pacman Jones triple shooting

Not a care in the world

There are no new developments in the Pacman Jones strip club shooting but there are a couple stories in the press related to the incident where a club bouncer was shot in the spine and paralyzed from the waist down.

First, criminal defense lawyers not associated with the case are saying that unless there is damning video evidence, it’s going to be next to impossible to prove that Jones had anything to do with the incident. First the police have to find the shooter, then they have to link him to Jones.

If Pacman was with this individual and maybe knew he carried a weapon from time to time but never told him to go back to the vehicle to get a weapon and … had no feelings that (the shooting) was going to happen, then just because he might have been with him doesn’t make him criminally responsible for anything.

If he (Jones) knows what the other person is up to and encourages or incites another person to go back in there and shoot and cause that man to be paralyzed, then he is in serious trouble. That is in both criminal and civil, but the only problem with criminal is how are you going to prove that?

Basically, even if Jones knew the shooter and was involved it would be impossible to implicate Jones unless the shooter fingers Jones and we get the feeling that some cash in a duffle bag would solve that little problem.

Meanwhile, Roger Goodell is sick of the off-the-field incidents and so are other players. They want Goodell to crack down on chronic troublemakers. Gene Upshaw agrees:

They don’t want to be painted with the same brush as these guys [that are getting into trouble]. They want players held accountable for their actions and their decisions, just like they are with the drug policy. They want penalties for guys who continually put themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. They feel a guy should only have so many chances. They want three strikes and you’re out.

There could be some sort of policy in place by as early as Junes, although that would not likely affect Jones retroactively.

And finally, a former NYC cop living in Las Vegas and friend of the bouncer who was shot says that the Las Vegas police department is incompetent and has questions about the way they handled the incident.

We get the feeling nothing is going to happen to Pac Man Jones (although we should assume innocence here) until his next run in with the law at a strip club at 4 a.m.


[Tennessean]: If Pacman broke law, proving it may be tough
[]: Owners, players want to bust bad guys

[SC]: Strip club owner says Pacman Jones knew shooter

Tennessee Titans

Strip club owner says Pacman Jones knew shooter

Photo from Sportsline

Adam “Pacman” Jones, who brought you such hits as “Chickenheads to the left, high class hos to the right” and “She stole my wallet!“, has released a new single titled, “That stripper took my money”.

His lawyer claims that Pacman was there but “nobody with him had a gun or fired a gun or was involved in any criminal activity.” However, Robert Susnar, co-owner of the club says that Pacman is lying and that he was sitting next to the shooter and came and left with him. According to Susnar, the trouble started after 4 a.m.

Jones had tossed hundreds of $1 bills on the stripper stage, an action known in street slang as “making it rain.” When one of the strippers started grabbing the money without Jones’ permission, he got angry, grabbed her hair and slammed her head against the stage, Susnar said.

That’s when security guard Aaron Cudworth, a mixed-martial artist with professional fighting experience, intervened and stopped the assault, he said.

“At that point, Pacman said, ‘I’m going to kill you,'” Susnar said.

A melee ensued as Cudworth scuffled with Jones and members of his entourage, Susnar said.

Order was eventually restored, and everyone was moved outside. That’s when the gunman opened fire toward the front door of the club, hitting Cudworth, security guard Tom Urbanski and a female customer.

According to Jones’ lawyer the commotion had nothing to do with Pacman allegedly slamming a stripper’s head into the stage and happened because Jones threw a bunch of money on stage and all the hos onstage and off started a wild dive for the bills. (We added in the hos part.) Eventually the surveillance tapes will tell the truth. It might be a very long long offseason for Jones.

The saddest part of this story is the security guard who started working there only two weeks before getting shot. He was moonlighting to put his wife through law school. Susnar said, “What does he get for a hard day’s work? A bullet in the spine because of a jackass athlete. It’s the most tragic thing I can imagine.”


[Las Vegas Review Journal]: Police looking at NFL player’s friend in strip club shooting

San Diego Chargers

Ladies and Gentlemen: Your 2007 Las Vegas Chargers

It’s only a matter of time before Las Vegas gets a major sports franchise. If not the Sonics, then why not the San Diego Chargers, whose lease runs out after this year. The mayor of Las Vegas, Oscar Goodman (you know, the guy who told a bunch of fourth graders that drinking gin was a hobbie.) contacted Chargers management to make a pitch for them to relocate to Sin City. However, the Chargers are not allowed to talk to cities outside of San Diego county until after Jan 1 but there’s an amendment being passed that will change that after the mayor of San Diego said he supported the Chargers desire to explore relocating.

We realize the whole Rick Tocchet scandal might keep this from happening but why hasn’t the NHL pursued moving a team to Vegas? As we know, people will bet on anything, even if Rick Tocchet will get convicted, so why not stir up interest in the NHL by putting it in the sports gambling mecca of the world? Hell, put a team store right inside Caesars. Gambling is legal in Vegas. Embrace it, Bettman!

[SignOn SanDiego]: Las Vegas makes pass at Chargers