Houston Astros

Having a strained groin is no longer the most embarrassing injury in sports

“If you’re sliding into first and you
feel something burst…”

We’ve heard of some strange injuries in our time, but Kaz Matsui might have just stolen the cake. The Astros second baseman is out of action with…wait for it…wait for it…an anal fissure! We don’t know what the hell that is exactly or how you get them (and we don’t want to know), but according to the guys at it is “an unnatural tear or crack in the anus skin.” Yep, that’ll keep you from running.

Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure.

Matsui, who returned to central Florida on Monday night, will go through individual workouts at the team facility but will not play until at least Friday. Doctors have prescribed a different medication to help alleviate the problem.

Suddenly, falling off you truck, violently sunburning yourself, throwing out your back via a sneeze and getting caught up in a tarp don’t seem all that bad.


[]: Matsui absence likely to last four to five days