Tyson Gay is not a homosexual, not that there’s anything wrong with that

Wondering about the results from the U.S. Olympic track trials over the weekend? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one, we’ve spent the past 72 hours playing GTA4 while the ol’ ladies went to a bridal shower in Phoenix. Despite the three-day diet of Pizza Pockets and Miller High Life, it was a near perfect weekend. Anyways, if you’re anything like us then you hit up your favorite Christian news site to get the results and instantly spit coffee all over your monitor when reading the headlines:

Homosexual breaks Greene’s US record in 100 at trials

Close call: Homosexual barely averts major flop in 100

Homosexual wins trials 100 in wind-aided 9.68 seconds

Homosexual runs wind-aided 9.68 seconds to make Olympics

Turns out, the “Homosexual” mentioned in the headlines is actually not homosexual at all; rather, he’s Gay. Not gay, gay. Gay as in, Tyson Gay, American sprinter. Apparently, the tightwads at have a filter that replaces the word “Gay” with “Homosexual” regardless of how the word is used. It might sound like a good idea, but it can actually just lead to more problems.

After the race, Homosexual and Dix looked at each other and slapped palms, then hugged.


[]: Your News Right Now
[]: Homosexual wins trials 100 in wind-aided 9.68 seconds