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Dallas Stars

You’d have to try hard to miss this goal

Wayne Gretzky and Gordie Howe scored over 800 goals in their careers. Mario Lemieux had 690. Dallas Stars’ forward Patrick Stefan couldn’t get any closer to them last night despite literally having an open net a foot in front of him. In fact, the former top overall draft pick couldn’t be any farther away from those guys if he were traded to Ice Station Zebra. Or farther away from a 4-year-old midget player whose parents couldn’t afford the skating lessons. Seconds away from a 5-4 victory in Edmonton last night, Stefan made a nifty steal of the puck and had an empty net staring at him as he skated into the Oilers zone untouched. For some reason, he didn’t shoot the puck, instead skating all the way in. He then proceeded to miss the open net as the puck jumped off his stick. Then Stefan fell to the ice a la Happy Gilmore in hockey tryouts as the Oilers went the other way and tied the game on an Ales Hemsky goal. Remember, this guy was a number one overall draft pick!

Just think everybody; for a few seconds last night, you were not the worst hockey player in the world. That goes for everybody, even if you live on the Equator and have never heard of hockey, someone out there was worse at it than you were.

The Stars did bail Stefan out, however, by winning 6-5 in a shootout.