Boston Celtics

Hard to decide which sucks more: the Celtics or the Post Office

It used to be a privilege to be on the postage stamp. Now you can basically put anything on a stamp no matter how lowly or mundane. Which of course explains why the Boston Celtics are selling custom Celtics stamps on their website.

The stamps will feature Paul Pierce, Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Delonte West and Gerald Green. That’s the worst stamp collection in the history of philately. (That’s our big word of the day… it means… stamp collection.) Larry Bird is not coming through that mail slot, fans. Kevin McHale is not coming through that slot, and Robert Parish is not coming through that mail slot.

No word on whether Danny Ainge will pay 53 cents for a 39 cent stamp based on upside.

[Boston Herald]: Celts, Pierce putting stamp on U.S. mail

Boston Celtics

Former Celtic Dennis Johnson dead at 52

The AP is reporting that Dennis Johnson has died at the age of 52. Johnson was an integral member of those legendary ’80s Celtics team that still make us stop to watch every time we come across them on ESPN Classic. “DJ” collapsed after a D-league practice where he was the coach of the Austin Toros. The Travis County Medical Examiner’s Office has confirmed that Dennis Johnson is deceased and an autopsy is to be performed. More information to follow.

We’re sure there will be a lot of retrospectives of Johnson’s career over the next week or so. However, we’d like to say that we hated Dennis Johnson. Hated him. But we’re Sixers fans. That’s how good he was. Like a wise man once said, they don’t boo nobodies.

[Star-Telegram]: Former NBA great Dennis Johnson dies

Boston Celtics

Top 10 Dumbest in-game Injuries: #3 Tony Allen

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten dumbest in-game injuries in sports.  Here’s #3.]

With three minutes remaining in the third quarter of a game versus Indiana, Boston’s Tony Allen decided to woo the crowd with a high-flying dunk after a foul had stopped play on the floor. After missing the wide open jam, Allen landed awkwardly on his left knee and crumpled on the famous parquet hardwood. Allen tore two ligaments in his knee which led to ACL reconstructive surgery, along with having cartilage repaired. The luck of the Irish was definitely not on Allen’s side during that game as the stupid slam will keep him out of the lineup for the rest of the season.

Back to #4 | Forward to #2

Boston Celtics

Sebastian Telfair got into a fight with Denny Terio and shot Fabolous in the lips?

Should’ve worn a Celtics jersey

According to reports, two men robbed Sebastian Telfair of his $64k chain at gunpoint and ran off. Telfair then saw the men inside of a club owned by P. Diddy and realized they were part of Fabolous’ crew, “The Street Family”. One cell phone call from Telfair and 23 minutes later, Fabolous gets shot in the thigh. Coincidence? Telfair says yes but the NYPD are saying no and that he is being investigated for the shooting.

Tefair says that he’s being painted as a bad person when he merely was having dinner with his fiancee. His lawyer called him a lovely young man so, you know, he couldn’t have anything to do with the shooting.

Meanwhile, Stephon Marbury, who is trying to shop around a talk show, got a little testy when asked about it.

He’s my little cousin. That’s my little cousin. That’s a stupid question. That’s my little cousin. You don’t ask me (expletive) like that. Somebody put a gun to him. If somebody put a gun to one of your family, wouldn’t you be concerned? You don’t want to ask that.

Marbury then made a cell phone call and half an hour later, the reporter was shot in the leg.

[Boston Herald]: Telfair saga lengthens
[Hip HopDX]: Sebastian Telfair Robbery and Fabolous Shooting Linked?
[ESPN]: Celts’ Telfair denies role in shooting of rapper Fabolous

Boston Celtics

Boston Celtics’ smoke and mirrors

The Celtics finally figured out a way to confuse their fans into thinking that Danny Ainge can build a contender. After a 33-49 season, the C’s decided to add a dance team to their entertainment becoming the last NBA franchise to do so. It’s a very simple rule: put enough hot chicks in short skirts and guys won’t care if you have a 7 foot stiff named Raef who only shoots 3-pointers.

Understably, some old school C’s fans are not happy.

Why do the Celtics want to be like all the other teams? The Celtics were unique with the way they did things. Now all of a sudden they want to be like all the horrible teams. Having dancers is something expansion teams have to do to draw people. I just think the Celtics are messing with their tradition, and I don’t think that’s going to be good for them in the long run.

He’s got a point. All this packaged entertainment has largely ruined the NBA. Escalating salaries meant that owners/GMs had to find a way to fill high priced seats and instead of building a contender, they decided to give us William Hung performing at halftime of a Warriors game or cheesy contests instead. Last year, there was a contest during a Celtics halftime involving layups and tic-tac-toe that was so retarded, the marketing person who dreamt it up was summarily shot behind the arena afterward.

So instead of going to a game to watch your team win or even good basketball, you’re presented with selfish basketball, corporate branded schwag, and D-list pop stars at halftime. Are we not entertained? Actually, we’re not.

A note on the “Staff photo illustration” of what a Celtics Dance Team member would look like: It looks like they took a file photo of a stripper and photoshopped on a Celtics logo… which will pretty much be accurate.

[]: Celtics dance into the 21st century

Boston Celtics

Can we just make up rumors about Paul Pierce too?

The folks in Boston believe the trade made last week for Wally Szczerbiak cements the notion Paul Pierce will remain a Celtic for life. Wouldn’t bet on that. What it looks like, and to many others, is Danny Ainge is clearing the decks to facilitate a blockbuster over the summer. The Celtics dumped four years and $28 million with Mark Blount and two years and $13 million with Ricky Davis . Michael Olowokandi ‘s $6 million comes off the books in July. It looks as if the Celtics are positioning themselves to now trade Pierce for a foundation piece — like say Kevin Garnett.

This makes absolutely no sense to me. So basically, Danny Ainge and Kevin McHale are just swapping entire teams at this point? What’s the use? I’m pretty sure this is what people mean when they talk about rearranging the deck charis on the Titanic.

Everyone just spent an entire week analyzing how Wally World fit in with Pierce’s game and how Ricky Davis gives KG another option that creates his own shots. So now, the Celtics and Twolves will just forget all that and trade Pierce for Garnett? I think I get the hang of this sports journalism thing. Just make it up.

[Detroit News]: Slam dunks

Boston Celtics

Ricky Davis traded to Timberwolves for Wally Szcerbiak

Minnesota trades Wally Szczerbiak, Michael Olowokandi, Dwayne Jones, and a first rounder to Boston for Ricky Davis, Mark Blount, Marcus Banks, Justin Reed, and two second rounders.

This trade started off two weeks ago as Olowokandi for Blount, which seems to me like trading a Pinto for a Gremlin, but then blossomed into a multiplayer deal including Wally and Ricky Davis, and trade fodder. The deal gives KG a much needed second scorer who can create his own shot in Ricky “Andre3000” Davis. Meanwhile, the Celtics get rid of the albatross that is Blount and his contract but pick up another hefty contract in Szcerbiak; however, Olowokandi’s contract is up after this year. I think this is a neutral trade (yes, going out on a limb) but let’s see what they’re saying in the blogosphere.

Timberwolves fan reactions:

[]: Is it the perfect deal? No, it isn’t highway robbery. It might not even turn out to be a good deal. But for those clamoring for the Wolves to do something, to shake things up, it does do that.

Kevin Garnett Source
]: This is a good trade for the Wolves. The way I see it, Davis is slightly better than Wally and Blount is slightly better than Olowokandi. We certainly just lost some shooting and rebounding, but in Davis, the Wolves have acquired the all-around, slasher type player that they need.

[]: Both teams probably washed. But with names like Ron Artest and Steve Francis floating around, you’re going to tell me this was the best that we can do? … I very highly doubt this was little more than a trade between two old friends (McHale, Ainge) making a move out of desperation with both of their jobs on the line.

Celtics fan reactions:

[Johnny Bag O’Donuts ]: Szczerbiak may be the one guy who could disprove the myth that Boston will embrace any white basketball player (Raef and Scal don’t count–I’m talking talented players). Granted, this town does love us some honkeys (nothing necessarily wrong with that), but I don’t think Szczerbiak’s act will fly here. Boston can deal with whining (Ainge, Antoine Walker), nuttiness (Manny Ramirez, Ricky Davis), self-aggrandizement (Curt Schilling, Ty Law) and prettiness (Larry Bird, Dennis Johnson) but all four on a bad team? That might not work out too well.

[ forums]: scottboy79: Is Danny Ainge the wold’s largest d!ckhead, or is it just me?? Isn’t Kandi Mark Blount, version 2.0?

[BSMW Full Court Press]: This trade adds a player who can space the floor for Jefferson and Perkins, who has shown much more in the post offensively than I would have expected. Wally’s arrival, coupled with Delonte West’s incredible shooting over the past couple months, gives the Celtics a troika of players (with Pierce) who cannot be left alone or their opponents will surely pay the consequences. Forcing an opposing coach to decide between defending the post against talented young big men or the perimeter against dead-eye marksmen can only help the Celtics put up more W’s today and tomorrow.