Author: Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

Categories
NFL General

Blogging the NFC Championship Game – 1st Quarter

Pregame: Somehow, Fox has managed to fit Brett Favre into its telecast even though the Packers were nowhere near the playoffs. Maguire, Patrick and Theisman voted 100,000 times each and Favre is the NFL’s sexiest man.

Pregame: Everytime I see this DirecTV DVR commercial, I think, what would happen if my son came to me and said “oh football…”. Would I whoop his ass or go out and get him some figure skates?

Pregame: Pittsburgh definitely earned this trip to the Super Bowl. Terry Bradshaw already making the homer pick and picking the Steelers to win it all. That surprised nobody.

Pregame: Carrie Underwood sings the national anthem. Very understated save one flourish. Very nice.

Kickoff: Here we go Seahawks, here we go. Yes, I’m unabashedly rooting for Seattle in this one. Since Pittsburgh beat Denver like Sean Locklear, I am rooting my ass off for Seattle just so I don’t have to secretly wish everyone playing in the Superbowl comes down with dysentery, which I think is what caused Troy Aikman to be late to the booth.

11:01: What the hell just happened. Seattle was lined up and all of the sudden, without even hiking it, Hass passes to Jackson for 9 yards. He didn’t even run a route. he just appeared and catch the ball. I probably shouldn’t have done that acid last night.

10:00: Alexander comes up small on 2 shots at 1 yard. MVP my ass (OK, OK, a little premature). Seattle punts.

7:59: Another 3 and out for Carolina. This defensive gameplan for Seattle is pretty simple. Either double or roll coverage to Smith and force Delhomme to find someone else.

5:49: Seneca Wallace just made a great catch. Pass was behind him and he snactched it….. TOUCHDOWN Stevens. Crowd is fired up as Seattle takes a 7-0 lead. Hasselbeck is on fire.

5:07: Fox highlights Smith. Bentley goes out to doubleteam, Delhomme throws it anyway and Lofa Tatupu gets the INT. Mr. Anti-Peyton Manning just threw it into quadruple coverage.

2:23: Refs miss a facemask penalty and Seahawks settle for a field goal. 10-3. Missed in the replay was this exchange between Brentson Boogie Buckner and Matt Hasselbeck:

Buckner: Your mother’s an astronaut.
Hasslebeck: My mother was too drunk to be an astronaut.

1:20: Tatupu and Nick Goings nearly kill each other with a face to face hit. Goings is helped off the field. Thinks he’s at the winter olympics.

0:50: All Seattle so far as the riverboat gambler doubles down on 11 and pulls a 3, well 33 as Manuel gets the INT.

0:00: And that’s the end of the 1st quarter folks as Seattle is poised to score again.

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

I see you working, Jaworski


Current value: $2.69

This story makes absolutely no sense until you realize it’s just Jaws trying to get some attention for his AFL team. “Jaworski last night said he is trying to reach out to former Eagles wide receiver Freddie Mitchell to gauge any potential interest Mitchell might have in joining the Soul.” That’s like me saying that I’m trying to reach out to Elisa Cuthbert to gauge any potential interest in dating me. And by reaching out, I mean scribbling a note in my Thundercats diary.

The Philadelphia Soul would have to cut some players to fit Mitchell under the salary cap. In no possible world, no matter how twisted, should anyone be cut to allow Freddie Mitchell to join a team. This also makes no sense because everyone in Philly hates Freddie Mitchell.

Remember when the Eagles first drafted Freddie out of UCLA and all getting-to-know-you stories talked about his famous Hollywood friends like Liz Hurley? Well, these days, he’s hanging out with Kathy Griffin.

[Philly.com]: Soul eyeing Freddie Mitchell

Categories
Minnesota Vikings

Culpepper wants a raise, Culpepper doesn’t want a raise, Culpepper traded?

Here’s a lesson TO should have learned: when in doubt, blame your agent. Yesterday, Culpepper’s agent, Mason Ashe, said that he is ready to begin negotiations “so Daunte can assume the position on the NFL pay scale that he so deserves”. Let’s see, your client is a QB that proved he is below average at best without one of the most talented receivers in the game, he tends to fumble, has lead his team to only 2 playoff appearances, and got routed by the Giants in the biggest game of his career. I’m pretty sure that the pay scale “he deserves” is somewhere in Jon Kitna territory.

Today, Ashe backpedaled and said that he was not authorized to comment on negotiations or seek more money from the team. Well, perhaps he doesn’t need to as it was reported that the Vikings might trade Culepper. Among the potential teams are Baltimore, Oakland, Miami, and Arizona.

[Twincities.com]: Agent says Culpepper didn’t OK comments
[Twincities.com]: Vikings may trade Culpepper

Categories
MLB General

And all your uncle left you was a stack of porn


Mickey worth $250k

In Boston, a reclusive old guy died and left a collection of baseball, football, and hockey (?) cards estimated to be worth up to $1 Million. Included in the collection are such legends as Ted Williams, Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays and Roberto Clemente. If only the old guy had the Honus Wagner card. The last Wagner card sold at auction fetched $1.1M on eBay.

[SI]: Classic baseball cards found in dead man’s home

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Theo Epstein back from chasing stray tail

Look, Theo, if all you wanted was a 10 week vacation, why didn’t you just say so? You brought the Red Sox their first championship in a hundred years. You’re 32 and rich. If you wanted some time to bang some Fenway Groupies, we understand. What was all that heart and soul bull you fed us?

So now you’re back. In some nebulous role that we’ll find out more about next week. Great. This doesn’t help all the heartbroken girls and guys about Johnny Damon’s departure for the evil empire. Here’s hoping you don’t pull a Dan Marino and leave in a few weeks when it’s golfing weather again.

[Boston.com]: Epstein to rejoin Red Sox

Categories
New York Knicks

This week’s Litigious Jackass Award: Michael Axelrod

I don’t think being confronted is worth $1M but apparently Michael Axelrod does. In last night’s game in Chicago, Antonio Davis jumped into the stands because he thought his wife was being threatened. “I witnessed my wife being threatened by a man that I learned later to be intoxicated. I saw him touch her, and I know I should not have acted the way I did, but I would have felt terrible if I didn’t react. There was no time to call security. It happened too quickly.” After Davis went into the stands, security intervened and Davis calmly returned to the bench.

No harm no foul. But I guess when you want to sue for $1M for battery (by a woman) and slander, you have to say things like this:


I don’t feel comfortable if players are allowed to easily jump into the crowd whenever they feel like it’s necessary.

You know, one time, Gary Payton sneered at me. I want half.

[MSNBC]: Fan suing Knicks’ Davis, wife for $1 million

Categories
New England Patriots

Also available, 2006 Bruins Champions edition Big Wheel


2006 F150 Roush Champions Edition Includes 20″ Roush Cast aluminum chrome wheels and P275/55R/R20 Goodyear Eagle LS2 Tires, a chrome over plastic billett grille, 10″ stainless steele exhaust tip, chrome lug nuts with wheel locks and Patriots Champions badging on the front fender and rear tailgate.

So, for a few grand extra, I can get a 2006 Champions edition from the team that got knocked out last week? I imagine this sells about as well as the Kellen Winslow Special Edition Suzuki GSX. Can I also get a sweet discount on the Colts 2006 Champions Edition Ford Focus?

[Onion]: Patriots’ 2006 Victory Parade Awkward, Sparsely Attended

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

Wherefore art thou, TO?

Don’t worry folks, Terrel Owens has been found. He wants you to know that he’s been running routes, catching passes, and scoring… all in his head. Much like his persecution complex. In the longest 3 months in the history of TO, he’s matured. What a wonderful marriage of Boost Mobile commercial and personal PR.

The best part of the site is the “blog” which allows people to tell Boost ‘where they at’. Who says there’s dumbing down of America?

Categories
All Other Sports

Jelena Dokic’s dad wins father of the year


Daddy’s girl

No wonder why she lost her first round match, it’s hard to concentrate on tennis when your dad is completely insane. Damir Dokic threatened to drop a nuclear bomb on Sydney and ranted about how Australia is a spoiled nation that cost his daughter her match. Jelena, wisely, is estranged from this nut job.


“They can expect my revenge. I’m not crazy when I say this. They are the crazy ones who give you hot sausages before the match when it’s 40 degrees Celsius outside.”

Those Aussie bastards! I’m not sure but I think 40 Celsius is about 150 degrees F. The nerve to serve hot sausages! They certainly deserve to be nuked.

[Sydney Morning Herald]: Damir retracts rant on radio
[Sydney Morning Herald]: Settle down Damir, we have a spare Scud in our arsenal

Categories
Carolina Panthers

One Lesbian Panther Cheerleader Down…


Role models

One part of our favorite story of 2005, Angela Keathly, has pleased guilty to disorderly conduct and obstructing a police officer. She will receive six months probation. Renee Thomas is still pleading not guilty, by order of being so drunk she would have sex with Angela Keathly. (I mean, look at that schnoz!)

In an alternate universe, both cheerleaders are extremely hot, both get sent to jail, share a cell, and have the whole 6 months on pay per view.

[SI.com]: Ex-Carolina cheerleader pleads guilty