Category: Golf

Michelle Wie has accepted an invitation to the John Deere Classic under the sponsor’s exemption. This is her fifth time playing on the PGA Tour. Last year, she missed the cut at the John Deere Classic by two strokes.

I’m not sure how I feel about her failing again in a mens tournament but we like Michelle because she can drive the ball longer than us off the tee and she has no idea who Rush Limbaugh is. For the record, Michelle, he’s a fat blowhard who has a lot of equally stupid listeners.

Rush limbaugh reportedly said something about you recently [calling her a “triumph of marketing”]

–Huh? Who’s that?

Links:
[PGA.com]: Wie commits to playing the 2006 John Deere
[Time.com]: 10 Questions For Michelle Wie

Solution: Golf and sex

Sometimes I wonder about this, I mean it’s kind of a close call. Sure, golf can be frustrating as hell and it takes up about 5 hours but golf never laughs at you, or mockingly tells you that it happens to everyone, or compares you to previous golfers who have played the course, or… oh sorry, got off on a tangent there.

Anyway… Golf Digest conducted a survey and only 8% of men and 18% of women said golf was better than sex. Thank god. We’d be doomed as a species if everyone was out playing golf. (Although in Brave New World, the two biggest leisure activies were golf and sex, so I guess you can do both, and run a well oiled dystopian society. But maybe that’s not what you wanted to read about on a sports blog.)

Interestlingly, more than 30% of men and women said they’d give up sex for a year in exchange for a round of golf at Augusta. Maybe they should have phrased the question, “Would you sleep with Hootie Johnson in exchange for a round of golf at Augusta.”

[Golfblogger]: Golf or sex?
[Golf Digest]: Gender Survey (pdf)

Tiger Woods already had houses in Orlando, California, Wyoming, and Sweden (I wonder who talked him into that), but he just purchased a $38M, 10 acre estate in Jupiter Island, Florida.

Woods’ new property includes a 13,207-square-foot home, several guest houses and two docks, perhaps with enough space for his 155-foot yacht. Records show the main, two-story home includes eight bedrooms and 13 bathrooms, and another house has six bedrooms and seven baths.

Oh yeah, and Tiger just turned 30. Somewhere, the devil is just waiting to collect his soul.

[MSNBC]: Tiger buys oceanfront property for $38M

Who says there’s no good programming on TV anymore? Donald Trump has come to save sports! The reality show blowhard announced plans for a golf “tournament” in May which will air on ESPN in July.

I am personally going to give $1 million to the one golfer who can prove they have the skill and nerve it takes to survive under the most extreme pressure.

And by “personally give $1M”, he means that he’ll reroute the $15,000 entry fee from the 100 contestants. The top winner takes home $1M, the runner up gets $150,000, and so forth. In order to be in the money, you have to finish 10th, which pays $20,000. The top 10 players out of a 54 hole tourney compete in a 9 hole playoff with one person getting knocked out each hole. On top of the stiff entry fee, each entrant has to write an essay about their life experiences in order to qualify. (Hey look, there’s a human element!)

If I were a billionaire who hated Donald Trump, I’d pay someone $1M to just go Al Czervik on Judge Trump and nail him in the nuts. I think that’d be worth my money.

The only trophy Tiger needs.

Woods wins player of year, money list winner and lowest scoring average. It’s the 7th time he’s won the player of the year and the 5th time he’s won all three major awards.

As much as Woods made golf exciting again when he came out and won his first Masters, his total dominance has made it pretty damn boring.  Oh well, another reason to post a pic of Elin Nordegren.

When Phil Mickelson shed his choking ways at the 2004 masters, it was big news.  Winning the PGA Championship today wasn’t quite as big, even though he hit a tremendous shot on 18 to win it.  But it’s always a good excuse to point out that he realy needs to do some pushups or something.  He’s trying to give Linda Cohn a run for her money for having the worst boobs in sports.  Come on Phil, you’re not doing much for the perception that golf is for a bunch of out of shape nancy boys.  And of course, there’s always this unfortunate picture.