New York Giants

Michael Strahan hates the NFL

Oh the sexual tension!

We know that the life of a professional football player isn’t all money and hos. For most players, it’s a very short ride — the average length of an NFL career is around 3.5 years. But even if you last a long time in the league, chances are all that wear and tear on your body will leave you a shell of your former self once you hit 40. Still, being beat up after making a few million a year is better than, say, getting beat up every day working in a coal mine and not having the money to show for it. So even though we kinda understand where Strahan is coming from in this except from his upcoming book, we don’t exactly feel sorry for him.

You want to be an NFL star? You want to stand in my shoes? Let’s say one day I came to you and offered you a million dollars to let me take a huge hunting knife and wear down the blade until it was rusty and really dull. Then, when it’s really dull and nasty, I would stick it into a pit of burning coals until the blade was white-hot. Finally, I would pull that sucker out of the flames and stab you over and over and over again. Take that blade and stab you in the ankles, your feet and your wrists. Not just stick it in but turn that rusty old knife and twist it when it’s sunk deep into your knees or shoulders.

That is the reality of my NFL. Every single year I have somebody sink this awful, dreadful blade into a few parts of my body.

Geez, Mike, whatever happened to ‘for the love of the game’? Could this be another stab at Tom Coughlin, who Tiki has said is too hard on players during practices?

If he feels this angry about the NFL, we can’t wait to read what he has to say about his ex-wife Jean who took his mansion and $15M of his hard earned money, and implied that he was gay.


New York Giants

Odds and Ends: Jean Strahan has a garage sale

As if a $15M divorce settlement and $18k a month in child support wasn’t enough, Jean Strahan, ex-wife of Michael Strahan decided to sell off a few of the items from their her $3.6M mansion in Montclair, NJ. She sold cocktail dresses, handmade rugs, antiques, and a couple of TVs among other things. A diehard Giants fan said he got two televisions for $100.

She advertised the garage sale in a local paper and tons of people were lining up to take a look at the stuff. Since she doesn’t exactly need the money, this was just a way of her throwing it in Michael Strahan’s face. The police were called multiple times to chase away reporters.

By the way, there’s no truth to the rumor that among the items being sold was a cancelled check written to Brett Favre with “Sack record” in the memo.

In other news…

[ESPN]: Mets fans will do anything to give their team an advantage

[NY Post]: Paul Lo Duca wins his first horserace as an owner.

[Steroid Nation]: Victor Conte picks up right where he left off

[San Jose Mercury News]: Stanford swimming coach suspended two months for… removing records of some of his swimmers from the media guide.

[USA Today]: NFL Network gets a leg up on the Draft telecast wars by putting a camera on Joe Thomas’ fishing boat.

[Mondesi’s House]: Any question whether NHL players are the toughest athletes? Sidney Crosby has played the last 4 weeks with a broken foot

[basketbawful]: The Bulls have no chance against the Heat (and here’s why)

And finally, Our Book of Scrap takes a look at the welcome wagon that will be waiting for the International Olympic Committee as they evaluate Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Olympics.

New York Giants

Tom Coughlin is second only to Hitler

You know, no matter what the context is, you should probably never mention having characteristics in common with Hitler. Ever. Here’s Coughlin responding to a question about being bashed by the media:

I hear some of it and I see it. You know (VP of communications Pat) Hanlon tells me about it, what’s going on. Hitler and then me, in that order. Unfortunate, but it is.

So Colonel Tom is trying to make a point that he’s almost as hated as Adolf Hitler. Probably not the best of ideas. Unless you’re Mel Gibson’s dad, you know that Hitler killed millions of innocent people. Coughlin, on the other hand, is a football coach. Please. Listen Tom, it’s true, you’re a tool and people hate you but nowhere near second antichrist. You probably rank somewhere between that Sanjaya kid from American Idol and Curt Schilling on the hate scale.

[MSNBC]: ‘Hitler and then me,’ Giants’ Coughlin says

[Sports Pickle]: Tom Coughlin Seizes Power in Germany (from 2004!)

New York Giants

Bling bling, bang bang

The NFL is a game of yards but on Wednesday night, New York Giants linebacker Brandon Short was involved in a scary situation in which inches meant the difference between life and death.

While shopping for some new bling in a Greenwich Village jewelry store, a pair of officers rushed past Short as gun shots began to ring out from down the street. Eventually a gun battle would erupt between gunman David Garvin and police right next door to the jewelry store where Short was now out of sight on the floor. By the time the whole situation was over it took police 56 shots to bring down the semiautomatic wielding nut job who killed three during his spree, including the two officers Short had seen earlier.

I was fearful for my life,” said Short. “There were bullets flying everywhere.” He went on to say, “It was a crowded street in Manhattan. Some people were running through restaurants, running down alleys to get away.” It’s a miracle that no bullets actually went through the window.

Obviously this would have been a terrifying situation for anybody, except maybe Pacman Jones who currently averages at least one near death experience per week.



New York Giants

Amani Toomer really chose poorly

Is that a urine stain?

What is it with the NY Giants and their wives? First, Michael Strahan’s wife insinuates that he’s gay, then Yoko Barber basically orders Tiki to retire and now Amani Toomer’s wife has turned out to be the most insane of all.

In their divorce/annulment proceedings, the dirty laundry of their marriage has been aired… and most of it doesn’t shine a very good light on Toomer’s wife, Yola Dabrowski. According to Toomer, Yola committed fraud when marrying him (and shouldn’t get a dime of his money) because she refused to change her name to Toomer, refuses to have a big family like they discussed — hell, refusing to even have one kid as she had 3 or 4 abortions without his knowledge or consent, won’t cook, clean or take medication for her depression, and most egregious of all, disrespected his manhood.

Meanwhile, Yola wants half and counterclaims that Toomer is “relentlessly demanding . . . insecure and paranoid” and charges him with “extreme cruelty”. She said that he once peed on her clothes because she wouldn’t have sex with him. She also said that he “forced her to put her chiropractic career on hold so she could spend two years decorating their $2 million West New York waterfront condo.”

Wow… that Toomer sounds like a terrible guy. He probably only gave her like $500,000 to decorate the $2M apartment! The peeing thing is a bit odd though. Anyway, it sounds like that Toomer wanted a traditional wife to look good on his arm and stay home and take care of house and kids while she wanted his money. We know Toomer didn’t get what he wanted, we’ll see if she does.

[Newsday]: Testimony delayed in Toomer divorce trial

New York Giants

Tiki throws Tom under the bus

Practice? Practice? We talking
’bout practice!

Most people who quit their jobs just go quietly and try not to burn any bridges. But Tiki, with his new television contract doesn’t have any worries about running into Tom Coughlin again so he decided he might as well take a (veiled) parting shot as Coughlin.

Coach Coughlin is very hard-nosed, and I didn’t get a lot of time off, couldn’t sit down and rest myself, and so it was a constant grind – a physical grind on me that started to take its toll. The grind took its toll on me and really forced me to start thinking about what I wanted to do next. And that’s not a bad thing. That’s a good thing, for me at least. Maybe not for the Giants, because they lose one of their great players, but for me, it is.

There’d be days where I couldn’t move on Tuesday or Wednesday at practice, and he’d get mad at me for going half-speed. And I told him, ‘Coach, I can’t do it. I’m gonna be out here, I’m never gonna miss a practice, but I can’t give you what you want all the time.’ And he understood.

We were in full pads for 17 weeks, and with the amount of injuries that we had, it just takes a toll on you. You just physically don’t want to be out there when your body feels the way you do in full pads. And while it probably doesn’t have a really detrimental effect on how you practice or how you play, it does on your mind. And if you lose your mind in this game, you lose a lot. And that’s something that he has to realize. And I think he does [now].

First of all, we love how Tiki calls himself one of the great Giants players without hesitation. Second, Tiki must still have a lot of good friends on the team because this statement was calculated to give them a break next year and perhaps a permanent break once Coughlin is fired after the 2007-2008 season.


New York Giants

Bad Rumor Alert: Parcells to the Giants?

Remember that “false rumor mongerer” Adam Schefter, the one who predicted that the Raiders would fire Art Shell after one season? Well, he’s got a new rumor floating about: The Giants are trying to lure Parcells back to the NY Giants as GM.

Schefter is reporting that, even though it’s a long shot, the Giants are considering hiring Bill Parcells to come in and clean house. However, an artile in the Star-Ledger (NJ) claims that Bill Parcells was the one who contacted the Giants about becoming GM but the Giants said no thanks. NY wants someone to be there long term and with his age and recent wanderings, no one expects Parcells to be in his next (or current) job very long.

We would love to see Parcells back in the Big Apple. It would make for interesting press conferences and media coverage, not to mention the two times a year that the Giants go up against the Cowboys. Parcells leaving would also leave the door open for TO to blow up in Dallas and call his head coach a moron and say how he’s very happy to have the new head coach (Mike Martz/Denny Green/Bill Cowher/whoever) directing the offense and exploting what he “brings to the table”.

Alas… it is not to be. But can we all agree that there is no way in hell that Parcells and Owens will be on the same team next year? Or at least past the trade deadline next year.


[]: Parcells may be lured back to Big Apple

[]: Giants: Say no thanks to Parcells

New York Giants

Say it isn’t so Tiki!

Last week we said, “we kinda like Tiki Barber” — he walks away at the top of his game, calls Michael Irvin an idiot… And of course, what happens? A story comes out in the NY Post that he’s completely pussy whipped. Nice Tiki, real nice.

Tiki Barber’s wife was the catalyst behind the Giants star’s decision to hang up his helmet. A longtime friend of Barber says she made him afraid he’d suffer a catastrophic injury that would turn him into a lousy dad. The 205-pound running back is heading for the broadcasting booth at age 31 because Ginny Barber has been “nagging him for a long time – and with others present – that he’d better retire before he has a crippling injury,” Barber’s friend says. If that happened, Ginny told him, “he couldn’t participate in raising his children.

This story makes us sad. Like when rock stars have kids and start making shitty music.

New York Giants

Michael Irvin and Tom Jackson respond to Tiki

After being called an idiot for the 5,608,874th time, Michael Irvin has decided to address Tiki Barber’s rant. In the New York Post today, Irvin defended his criticism of Tiki’s retirement announcement.

It kills his ability to lead. He is the leader of that football team. If I am a young guy and we are in a battle and we are banging heads and we are fighting. I’m out there getting hit and being hit and we are in a tough spot in a football game.

If I am in the line of battle and Tiki comes to me and says, ‘Come on, give me what you have!’ I’m going to look at him and say, ‘Aww, shut up. What are you talking about? You are quitting on us.’ This stuff will come out on the sideline.

Tom Jackson, for his part, said, “I thought that the name-calling seemed a bit unnecessary.” You gotta love Tom Jackson. It’s a shame he has to be paired alongside the unbearable Chris Berman.

To a man, the Giants have all said that Tiki’s retirement announcement has not been a distraction. Antonio Pierce said, “There is no quit in that guy. He is still our leader on offense.” And Plaxico Burress said, ” don’t feel it has been a distraction at all. I’m sure everyone can see the way he is playing, the way he is running.” Having Plaxico Burress commenting on anyone quitting is ironic since he’s liable to quit at any point in the season. At least with Tiki, you know you’ll get his all for the rest of this season.


New York Giants

Tiki Barber takes Michael Irvin off Christmas card list


We’ve always kind of liked Tiki Barber. As far as NY players go, he’s the one you least want to kill. So it comes as no surprise that he actually gets it and isn’t afraid to lash out at the retarded media and ESPN.

I will call them ‘idiots’ because they have neither spoken to me nor any one of my teammates or any of my coaches, yet all they do is criticize me for being a distraction with this retirement thing.

That includes [Daily News columnist] Gary Myers, that includes Tom Jackson on ESPN, that includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking, of course, Michael Irvin [of ESPN], please get a clue how to be a journalist. Don’t make blanket assumptions about it.”

Barber then sarcastically wondered whether he looked distracted in helping the Giants beat the Cowboys Monday night.

Did Tiki really have to add “facetiously speaking, of course”? You’d have to be some kind of idiot to think that anyone would call Michael Irvin a character guy and be serious. Well, some kind of idiot or Deion Sanders. In the NFL version of hell, you’d have Deion, Irvin and Sean Salisbury doing the pregame.

[Newsday]: Tiki calls critis “idiots”

[Newsday]: Irvin: Retirement makes Tiki quitter