- Panthers give Keyshawn $14M.
Why: Panthers now have a physical wide receiver to complement the speedy Steve Smith. Gets Bucs fans all riled up because he’s now in their division. Also lets the NFC maintains a monopoly on asshole wide recivers. - Mike Vanderjagt signs with Cowboys.
Why: The Idiot Kicker from Indy with the lame ass earring solves the Cowboy’s inconsistent kicking game. - Larry Allen signs with 49ers.
Why: Allen will help the Niners running game by opening holes up the middle. Unfortunately, won’t help Alex Smith throw any TDs. - Seahawks sign RT Ashworth of the Patriots
Why: Ashworth is young and will somehow fill in for the departure of Hutchinson when the Seahawks shuffle their O-line. - Vikings sign former Eagles QB McMahon.
Why: The Vikings better pray that Brad Johnson stays healthy all year. Mike McMahon showed in Philly that he is not a good QB.
