It’s here boys and girls. It’s here! I know you’ve read a million stories this week about how great March Madness is. I don’t care. It cannot be overstated. March Madness is like Christmas, New Years, Fourth of July and Degenerate Gamblers Day all rolled up in one.
Here’s what makes the NCAA tourney so great:
- First round buzzer beaters. I just saw a replay of the Bryce Drew three pointer to beat Ole Miss and it still is a great play. I can’t believe it was 8 years ago.
- Princeton beats UCLA with nothing but backdoor cuts. Weber state beats UNC. Vermont beats Syracuse. Bucknell beats Kansas. Villanova plays the perfect game to beat Georgetown.
- Games start around noon EST. BAC should be about .250 by the time the last game tips off on the east coast
- Your bracket will be ruined by Sunday but you don’t care because everyone else’s is as well and you still might win.
- Oral Roberts university is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1 odds to win the whole thing. Most of you laugh. Some of you are thinking, I should put $1 on that. The latter should get some help.
- Even hot chicks who don’t care about sports get into the tournament because they have $10 in the pool.
- If your boss catches you reloading scores on your computer all day, who cares? He’s doing the same thing.
- You can use some of these excuses to call out sick from work and you probably will get away with it.
- The fact that there is always a 12-5 upset.
- You have just a good a chance of getting the perfect bracket as experts who analyze college hoops for a living. That is, zero.
- It lasts for three weeks and every game is a potential classic.
Oh man, I know you guys are just as excited as I am. You know, those ESPN commercials are all wrong. Heaven doesn’t include Stephon Marbury hogging the ball or race cars zooming by. Heaven would be March Madness all year long.
