Things just keep getting worse and worse for the Juice – actually things just keep getting worse and worse for people around the Juice. Reports surfaced on Thursday that O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend (that’s her first mistake) Christie Prody was hospitalized after supposedly falling and hitting her head. However, according to doctors, the injuries and the story don’t seem to add up, leading to the claim that her “severe head injury” could be a result of typical Simpson rage.
Now, we’re not ones to make jest of other people’s pain; luckily, Best Week Ever is. So, without further ado, we give to you their list of Top 10 Excuses Given to Doctors By O.J.’s Girlfriends.
10. “My boyfriend was just cleaning out his fist collection, and one accidentally went off.”
9. “My boyfriend bought me a rose for Valentine’s Day, only he forgot to take the thorns off. So you can imagine, when he ran the rose across my neck and face and body… things got a little bloody.”
8. “My best friend and I were playing doubles tennis. And she accidentally hit me in the face with the handle of a gun.”
7. “Doctor, it’s the strangest thing. I’m walkin’ down the street, mindin’ my own business, just walkin’ along, feelin’ good. I walk around a corner. A man walk up, hit me in my chest, right? I fall on the ground, right? And I look up, and it’s Dr. Martin Luther King! I said, `Dr. King!’ He said, `Whoops, I thought you was somebody else.'”
6. “I walked into my mom’s fist-shaped doorknob.”
5. “I was shopping at Barney’s, when I slipped and fell in their Medieval Armor department.”
4. “The Jews.”
3. “I accidentally knocked over my boyfriend’s Heismann trophy, and suddenly, out of nowhere, a 4 by 4 fell from the ceiling and hit me on the back of the head.”
2. “I was doing some light gardening when some friends of my boyfriend, including Chris Noth, David Justice, Josh Brolin, Phil Spector and Robert Blake, came by to tell me what a great job I was doing on my rose garden. Then I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs.”
1. “I’m O.J.’s Girlfriend.”
[Best Week Ever]: The Top 10 Excuses Given To Doctors By O.J.’s Girlfriends