Categories
All Other Sports

Duke lacrosse team’s got plenty of spunk


A couple of weeks ago, the Duke lacrosse team came up with the bright idea to hire two strippers for a party in a university-owned house. Then three guys had the bright idea to rape one of the young ladies in the bathroom. Allegedly.

The dancer, a North Carolina Central University student (’cause you know, when you go to NCCU, you have to dance for the rich kids at Duke to pay your tuition) claimed she was raped by three players and nearly strangled to death. Way to go, gentlemen, it’s always a good idea to show how tough you are by beating a girl and sexually assaulting her. Couldn’t you just have done some gay hazing instead?

Since all lacrosse players look alike, police took DNA samples from 46 members of the team yesterday, including some who weren’t even at the party. The team has already forfeited one game and will forfeit another as punishment for hiring private party dancers and underaged drinking. Oh, and in case you have the moral compass of Mike Tyson, University President Richard Brodhead issued a statement that “Physical coercion and sexual assault are unacceptable in any setting and have no place at Duke.” Thanks for the clarification, Dick.

(By the way, sorry about the headline, I couldn’t resist.)

Related Links:
[NBC17]: Members Of Duke Lacrosse Team Tested In Suspected Rape

[GoDuke.com]: Statement by Duke University President Richard H. Brodhead On Men’s Lacrosse Team

Categories
College Basketball

4 people out of 3 million had this Final Four

My bracket is a sea of red.  Hell, it was a sea of red after the first weekend.  But 4 out of 3 million brackets (that’s .00018% or about the chances of you deflowering Adriana Lima) on ESPN’s tournament challenge actually had LSU, UCLA, George Mason, and Florida in the Final Four.

How exactly did this happen?  I am certain that all 4 people must be students or alumni of George Mason.  Either that or they are retarded and picked games by pointing at them with their left foot. How else can you explain picking a team that has NEVER won an NCAA tournament game to go to the Final Four.  

Here are some more interesting stats courtesty of ESPN:

Entries with one Final Four team left: 30%
Entries with three Final Four teams left: 0.1%

Entries with Florida in the Final Four: 11%
Entries with Florida winning it all: 1%

Entries with LSU in the Final Four: 5%
Entries with LSU winning it all: .4%

Entries with UCLA winning it all: 2%

Entries without Duke in the Final Four: 37%
Entries without UConn in the Final Four: 31%

Categories
College Basketball

Updated Odds to win Final Four

The odds on George Mason at the beginning of the tournament was 500-1. They are currently at 15/4.
Florida is the favorite at 7/4, followed by LSU at 12/5. UCLA is at 13/4 odds — only slightly higher than George Mason’s odds.

Personally, I’d like to see George Mason win it. They might not even make the tournament next year, that’s how improbable this run has been for them. Unless you follow one of the other three teams, I don’t see how you can not root for GMU.

Categories
NBA General

Updating the NBA Dance Team bracket

With all the great NCAA tourney games, we forgot about the other tournament going on until Supersonicsoul.com reminded us about it. In a stunning upset, the Sonic Dance Team won 59-41% against the Houston Rockettes.

We had predicted that the Rockettes would get to the Final Four against the Lakers. Meanwhile, the Lakers were upset by the Kings, who are going up against the Suns Dance Team for the other spot in the west semifinials. We did get one part of the east side correct with the Miami Heat Dancers beating the Pistons. They will meet the winner of the Nets and Knicks Dancers matchup.

Based on the photo to your left, I don’t see how the Heat Dancers can possibly lose this tournament.

Related Links:
[NBA.com]: NBA Dance Team Bracket

Categories
NFL General

More NFL player moves you should know about


Categories
San Francisco Giants

Barry Bonds is suing Game of Shadows authors


It’s too late for Barry to salvage his reputation. By this point, you either believe he knowingly used steroids or you maintain he thought it was only flaxseed oil. But that doesn’t mean Barry isn’t trying. Bonds is asking that all profits from Game of Shadows be donated to charity because the book was based on illegally obtained grand jury reports.

Bonds also is wants a federal judge to begin contemp-of-court proceedings against the authors, the publisher, The Chronicle, and Sports Illustrated. Gotham Books takes a shot at Bonds and his lawyer in a statement:


[Gotham Books is] shocked that Barry Bonds would take such a foolish step. Any respected First Amendment lawyer in America knows that his claim is nonsense. We stand by what our authors wrote.

Notice that Bonds isn’t suing for libel. You know why? Because even Bonds can’t say with a straight face that Game of Shadows isn’t true.

Related Links:
[SFGate]: Lawyers for Bonds plan to sue over steroids book
‘Game of Shadow

Categories
General Sports

Odds and Ends for Friday March 24 2006: Five Stages of Grief

We hate seeing grown men cry. Well, actually, we enjoyed seeing JJ Redick cry but that’s just because we hate Duke. As you know, Gonzaga choked away a big lead to UCLA. Here are photos of Adam Morrison going through the five stages of grief. The last photo is priceless.

In other news…

[NFL Cheerleader blog]: 49er cheerleader Jany Collaco wins $750 on Deal or No Deal.

[Pro Tennis Fan]: Tennis’ next big thing, a 13 year old Aussie named Bernard Tomic, already signed by IMG.

[AZCentral]: Hall of Fame tips its hand. Barkley a shoe-in.

[NY Post]: The NFL Network might hire Bryant Gumble to do their games next season even though he’s only ever done play by play for golf previously.

[JailIsiah.com]: ’cause you know, ShootIsiah.com was already taken.

Categories
College Basketball

Gonzaga out chokes Duke

We laughed when Duke choked against LSU but at least they weren’t leading the entire game. Let’s rehash this, shall we? Sure they had a 17 point lead in the first half but let’s look at the second half.

20:00 42-29 Gonzaga 13 pt lead
10:00 59-47 Gonzaga 12 pt lead
03:13 71-62 Gonzaga  9 pt lead
01:00 71-66 Gonzaga  5 pt lead
00:20 71-70 Gonzaga  1 pt lead
00:13 JP Batista coughs up the ball.
00:10 71-72 UCLA
00:06 Pardo panicks even though Gonzaga has a time out and 8 secs on the clock, loses the ball.
00:00 End of the biggest choke since Arizona lost to Illinois last year.

This loss is on the whole team but especially Batista and Pardo.  Just choked big time in a pressure situation.

Categories
College Basketball

Duke Haters Rejoice!



Oh oh oh, JJ’s cryin’

There’s nothing more powerful than the truth. And the truth is that Duke chokes again. The #1 seed and 6 point favorites go down to LSU in the sweet sixteen 62-54. Despite being in early foul trouble, the two big men for LSU, Glen “Big Baby” Davis and Tyrus Thomas, come up huge at the end of the game with rebounding and scoring.

JJ Redick goes 3-18 and 2-2 on FTs to finish with 11 points. He also had more turnovers (5) than field goals made. Player of the year my ass.

If this story sounds familiar, it’s because it is. With as much talent as Duke has every year and always going into the tournament as a #1 seed, they tend to shrink in the sweet sixteen.

2000: #1 seed Duke is upset by Florida in the Sweet 16
2002: #1 seed Duke is upset by Indiana in the Sweet 16
2005: #1 seed Duke is upset by Michigan State in the Sweet 16
2006: #1 seed Duke is upset by Louisiana State in the Sweet 16

Duke and the Atlanta Braves must get together to trade notes on how to dominate the regular season and choke during the postseason.

Categories
General Sports

Sports blogger vs ESPN

Sports blogging is a tough gig. You work all the time to come up with fresh material that you think will be amusing or interesting to people. For this, you get paid about 5 cents every time someone clicks on a Google ad. So when ESPN’s Colin Cowherd rips off a blog without attribution… well, it’s on.

The M Zone came up with a M Zone Collegiate Wonderlic Test, where they came up with questions they thought were more appropriate for athletes going pro. “1. If the Ohio State tailback gets $42,000 from a Buckeye booster but the Escalade he wants is $57,000, he should:”…

Good stuff. So good in fact that Colin Cowherd decided to rip it off on his radio show. No mention of M Zone. No mention that it wasn’t written by him or his staff. When emailed about it, Coward responded with:

WE WERE SENT IT….WE HAD NO IDEA..BUT THE INCESSANT WHINING…MEANS I WON’T GIVE YOU CREDIT NOW..GET OVER IT
CC

First of all, I hate people who type in all caps. Second, why not just apologize and say, “oh, we’ll give you credit for it on the next show.” Instead, Cowherd, who is making a healthy paycheck from the worldwide leader in hype, decides to be an arrogant prick to a blogger who does it for the love of the game.

Keep up the good work, M Zone, and let’s hope Colin Cowherd gets anally raped for being such a bitch.

Related Links:
[M Zone]: ESPN’S Colin Cowherd “Borrows” M Zone Material