Category: All Other Sports

I’ll take the rapists for $500, Alex

Yesterday, we told you about how members of the Duke lacrosse team had to give DNA samples to investigators after 3 members were accused of sexually assaulting and beating a dancer at a house party.

Well, this story is getting thornier as the school has announced that instead of just a two game suspension, the team would be suspended indefinitely. Apparently, more evidence has come to light, including police finding one of the dancer’s fingernails, makeup bag, cell phone, and ID. The charges being investigated are first degree rape, kidnapping, assault by stragulation, and robbery.

One part of the story we didn’t know about was that the two dancers were black and that when they started to perform, the men in the house started yelling racial slurs at them. Somehow, this doesn’t surprise me in the least. According to a neighbor, when one of the young women ran outside, one of the team members yelled to her “Thank your grandpa for my cotton shirt.” Boy, his parents did a fine job of raising that kid.

Speaking of which, this blog has pictures of various members of the lacrosse team and their parents names. Now some people might think this is overboard but somehow you can’t help but look through the pictures and play “spot the rapists/racists/assholes”.

One last item of note. The lacrosse team told the dancers they were members of the baseball and track teams. Way to try to throw your fellow athletes under the bus.

This is going to get really ugly, folks. And rightly so. I really don’t understand why anyone would think rape, sodomy, and racial slurs are ok. I imagine Al Sharpton has already got his plane ticket to Durham.

Links:
[News & Observer]: Dancer gives details of ordeal
[News & Observer]: Frustrations boil at Duke

The man with no shame

How else can you explain his willingness to do ads for a new Canadian energy drink called Cheetah Power Surge. The ad goes something like this:

Frank: Ben, when you run, do you Cheetah?
Ben: Absolutely. I Cheetah all the time!

This is almost as sad as Gary Coleman doing cash call commercials or Erik Estrada trying to sell me real estate in northern California.

Media people are all over this ad campaign for being so poorly thought out. Athletes are great endorsers because people want to be champions. People don’t want to be cheaters. What’s next? Raffy Palmeiro doing commercials for a DC hotel? “Absolutely, when in Washington, I lie all the time!”

Links:
[Toronto Star]: Ben Johnson, Cheetah. Get it?
[D’Angelo Brands]: Talkshow commercial (Quicktime)

When I was younger, I heard a story about a guy who left his glasses at home, filled out a lottery sheet upside down, and won the lottery. While not nearly as lucrative, it turns out that one of the four people out of 3 million who picked this Final Four actually thought he was picking George Washington University. Why anyone would think George Washington was going to be in the final four, I don’t know. But it proves that picking brackets is all about dumb luck.

In other news…

[Beer Leaguer]: Five Questions: Philadelphia Phillies (Season preview)

[SI]: The SI cover jinx has claimed 16 victims since Jan 2005.

[The-Coffeys.com]: 2005-2006 Official Unattractive Final Four Team

[SF Gate]: Bonds wants our sympathy. We just end up hating him more. “My life is in shambles. It is crazy. It couldn’t get any crazier. I’m just trying to stay sane.”

[Joey Harrington3.com]: Joey expresses gratitude for Matt Millen – we lose a little respect for Joey… and we didn’t have that much to begin with.

A couple of weeks ago, the Duke lacrosse team came up with the bright idea to hire two strippers for a party in a university-owned house. Then three guys had the bright idea to rape one of the young ladies in the bathroom. Allegedly.

The dancer, a North Carolina Central University student (’cause you know, when you go to NCCU, you have to dance for the rich kids at Duke to pay your tuition) claimed she was raped by three players and nearly strangled to death. Way to go, gentlemen, it’s always a good idea to show how tough you are by beating a girl and sexually assaulting her. Couldn’t you just have done some gay hazing instead?

Since all lacrosse players look alike, police took DNA samples from 46 members of the team yesterday, including some who weren’t even at the party. The team has already forfeited one game and will forfeit another as punishment for hiring private party dancers and underaged drinking. Oh, and in case you have the moral compass of Mike Tyson, University President Richard Brodhead issued a statement that “Physical coercion and sexual assault are unacceptable in any setting and have no place at Duke.” Thanks for the clarification, Dick.

(By the way, sorry about the headline, I couldn’t resist.)

Related Links:
[NBC17]: Members Of Duke Lacrosse Team Tested In Suspected Rape

[GoDuke.com]: Statement by Duke University President Richard H. Brodhead On Men’s Lacrosse Team

Why am I interrupting all NCAA tourney all the time to write a story about tennis? I’m not sure. All I know is that Andy Roddick melted down yesterday during his match at the Pacific Life Open. I’m not even talking about smashing his racket, I’ve been known to smash a few myself.

Roddick complained to the umpire after he double faulted about some crowd noise or some microphone noise or perhaps the sound of him choking to a 24 seed. If you’re going to be a whiny little bitch, Andy, do it with some style like John McEnroe. And tennis officials wonder why the popularity of the game is below even NHL levels.

[SignOn SanDiego]: Raging Roddick rocked by Russian

If you listened to our podcast this week, you would’ve heard Ryan alerting us to Ashley Van Boxmeer, outfielder for Cal State Fullerton. We’re not usually into softball players…well, because they sometimes look like men, but Ashley is a little hottie and judging by her myspace page, she likes to have fun and has a lot of hot friends.

Other than the fact that her father has his name on the Stanley Cup and is now an assistant coach with the Kings, I don’t have much else to add. You’ve stopped reading by now anyway because you’re too busy checking out the photos on her page. You bastards.

Just in time to boost ticket sales to 8 Below, the “Last Great Race on Earth” has begun. Started to celebrate the sport of mushing and then modified to commemorate the run of life saving serum to Nome in 1925, the Iditarod is now the premiere dog race in the world. The winner gets $795,000.

The race is so dangerous that one musher already punctured the center of an eye during a training run. Emergency surgery will save the eye but she is racing anyway.

We’re in Day 2 of the race and Lance Mackey is in first place. OLN is covering the race but their TV schedule has the first broadcast almost two weeks away so we’ll keep you up to date here. We’re happy to report that no dogs have died yet on the trail though this happens every year. We don’t wish harm on any dog unless it’s one that Tim Allen turns into so that we, as a civilization, don’t have to be subjected to another of his movies.

Everything you wanted to know about the Iditarod:

[Wikipedia]: Iditarod entry
[Iditarod.com]: Learn About the Iditarod

I don’t know the first thing about dog breeding and dog shows so I’ll just post some links to some people who actually do and had comments on Rufus winning Best in Show. I just wanted an excuse to post my favorite quotes from the movie. (I do hear that there’s a huge uproar at the show cause Bill Leavy was the head judge.)

Sherri Ann Cabot: We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking.We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

Hotel Manager: We have you down for a queen.
Scott Donlan: What are you suggesting… my dear man.

Buck Laughlin: And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten.

Hamilton Swan: We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks. We saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.

[Happydog]: Rufus Wins, or Happydog’s Annual Westminster Report
[Jademyst]: Rufus wins!
[Woof Woof]: “It’s like having Lance Armstrong for a son”

Look, I’m all for equal rights. I really am. I hate the WNBA not because of the women athletes, I hate it because David Stern keeps trying to force it down our throats. But when it comes to women in Sumo wrestling, we really have to draw the line. You know that old joke about there are ten things men shouldn’t do and cheerleadling in 9 of them? Well, the same holds for women and Sumo wrestling. I don’t want to think about 300 pound women in little outfits shoving each other around.

However, not even allowing the female governor of Osaka to step on the mound to present the prize is a bit much. This is a sport where the athletes can’t even wipe their own ass, I’m not sure how “impure” a woman can be in the ring. Well, aside from the WWE that is.

[Slam! Sports]: Poll: Majority of sumo fans support ban on women in ring