College Football

Jim Bob Cooter suspended for DUI

Athlete DUIs are a dime a dozen these days. But this arrest gets special mention because the guy’s name is Jim Bob Cooter. Jim Bob was driving through Knoxville when he was spotted by the police rolling through a stop sign followed by crossing the center line and driving on the wrong side of the road.

After failing three field sobriety tests, he was charged with first offense DUI and taken to the police station. His breathalyzer came out at .19, more than double the Tennessee limit of .08.

Since Jim Bob is a backup QB, this really doesn’t affect the team at all… which is why Tennessee Coach Phillip Fulmer put his foot down and suspended Cooter for the season opener against Cal. In order to get back on the team, Jim Bob would need to undergo extensive alcohol evaluation and adhere to certain internal requirements. We assume some of those requirements are not to get shitfaced, don’t provide alcohol to minors, and don’t drive drunk.

[]: Vols’ Cooter suspended after weekend arrest

College Football

Two ex-FSU players charged with robbing teammate

Jeff Rouse

There’s so many things wrong with this story. First, look at the photo to your left. Does that look like a man who would rob someone? Not particularly. Does that look like a man who if he were to rob someone, would leave a glove with his jersey number at the scene of the crime? Well… yes. In a world of dumb athletes, Fred Rouse might take this year’s top award.

But that’s not all. The person that Rouse robbed (along with fellow ex-teammate and Cincinnati 5th round draft pick A.J. Nicholson) was another teammate, Lorenzo Booker. Rouse and Nicholson stole approximately $1,700 worth of electronic equipment from the house. Rouse confessed to the crime and is charged with burglary of a dwelling, grand theft, and possession of ecstasy. He then sold out A.J. Nicholson faster than the Pistons are selling out Flip Saunders. An arrest warrant has been issued for Nicholson.

This isn’t the first time these two student-athletes have been in trouble. Nicholson previously pleaded to a DUI offense and Rouse was kicked off the FSU team in January for “conduct detrimental to the welfare of the football team”. FSU officials declined to comment but we believe robbing your teammates is detrimental to the welfare of the football team.


[ESPN]: Bengals pick Nicholson, Rouse charged in alleged theft

College Football

Community award winning Alabama LB arrested

Alabama Crimson Tide starting linebacker Juwan Simpson was arrested on Saturday for receiving stolen property, possession of marijuana and carrying a pistol without a license.  He was pulled over by an officer because he was eratic driving.  The officer then smelled marijuana and found the gun.

In today’s world of stupid athletes, this wouldn’t much register on the radar, except that just a month ago, Simpson received the Derrick Thomas Community Award.

In a bid to overtake Eugene Robinson in the ironic arrest category, Simpson was also pursuing a second degree in Criminal Justice.  Good thing he wasn’t pre-med.

[Montgomery Advertiser]: Tide’s Simpson arrested

College Football

Reggie Bush’s family house paid for by marketing agent

Our house… in the middle of the
heat… our house

We are shocked, shocked! to discover that top college football athletes are given things for free by marketers and agents.

According to state of California records, the house is owned by Michael Michaels, who has ties to a sports marketing company. (When did “sports marketing company” have the same negative connotation as “the mafia”?) In the Spring of 2005, Reggie Bush’s mom, stepfather and brother moved into the $757,00 home. NCAA rules for violating statutes prohibiting student-athletes from accepting extra beneifts from sports agents or marketing companies could mean that the games where Bush appeared could be forfeited. There goes the entire 2005 Trojans season.

The plan was for Michaels to steer Bush toward a sports agent named David Caravantes and represent Bush’s marketing efforts. However, Bush signed with Mike Ornstein and Joel Segal recently so it looks like that was $750k down the drain and a whole lot of trouble for Michaels. Reminds us of the NFL Network commercial: ‘I want him representing me. That guy is money.’

The bottom line is that Reggie Bush will get his money this weekend and there will be absolutely no repercussions for him or his family. It’s good to be a Top 10 pick.


[Yahoo]: Yahoo! Sports report: Reggie Bush’s family home
[MSNBC]: Investigation won’t hurt Bush in draft
[Sign OnSanDiego]: Parents of Bush face questions about home

College Football

Mississippi State football players kick ass

Unfortunately, the ass they kicked belonged to an off duty police officer. Oops. Six players (defensive backs Keith Fitzhugh and Derek Pegues, offensive tackle Michael Gates, defensive linemen Charles Burns and Quinton Wesley, and quarterback Tray Rutland) were arrested for assaulting Demetric Armstead at a sorority event.

Rutland, however, gets the most valuable assaulter award for also being charged with assaulting the same police officer last weekend. I guess he had some unfinished business.

When he puts together his reel for the NFL Europe draft, I wonder if he’ll mention perseverence as his greatest strength.

[Fox Sports]: Players charged with assaulting off-duty officer

College Football

The worst coaching hire of all time: Ryan Leaf

This will turn our franchise

Someone really must have called in a favor or have compromising photos because West Texas A&M just hired Ryan Leaf as their quarterbacks coach. Who in their right mind would listen to Ryan Leaf?

This is a guy whose name is synonymous with “first round bust”, who had problems with teammates, who had problems with the media, who had a poor work ethic and a terrible attitude. Sounds like someone I want to be working with my QB. Your mentor is Ryan Leaf? Good luck, kid. Unless West Texas A&M plays flag football, perhaps they should reconsider this decision.

And yes, I realize that coaching hires include Rich Kotite.

[Yahoo]: Leaf takes coaching job at West Texas A&M
[]: NFL Pre-Draft: Leaf vs Manning (hah!)

College Football

Stanford needs strippers to recruit football players

The Bay Area is a great place, but let’s say you’re a top high school football player trying to decide where you want to go for college, would you rather go to a school with girls who look like this and this or would you rather go to Stanford, where the girls, well… don’t? We thought so too.

So it comes as no surprise that Stanford football players entertained recruits by taking them to a San Francisco strip club called New Century. NCAA rules allot $30 per host per day for recruiting expenses. The best part is that the players turned in “numerous, handwritten ‘receipts’ for $20 each”. Last time I checked, having Destiny write her number on a cocktail napkin isn’t really a receipt.

[]: Stanford recruits visited strip club
2003 incidents, revealed in lawsuit, didn’t violate rules at time

College Football

Marcus Vick arrested on weapons charge

Class act

Perhaps after announcing he’s going Pro, Don Mexico is trying to court the Smith & Wesson endorsement deal.  Vick turned himself in after a warrant was issued for his arrest. He pointed a gun at three men outside of a McDonalds on Sunday night.

No no no, Marcus, you don’t start waving firearms at people in a town where you’re most likely to be recognized until after you’ve become a big bust in the NFL.

College Football

NOW wants Paterno to resign

I don’t mean to be insensitive to the plight of NOW but can’t you just let the man enjoy his Orange Bowl victory?

Joanne Tosti-Vasey, president of the National Organization for Women in Pennsylvania, said Sunday that she was “appalled” by Paterno’s comments last week and that they represent an institutional insensitivity that endangers women.

So what exactly did JoePa say? On the sexual assault allegations against A.J. Nicholson:

I think it’s so tough, there are so many people gravitating to these kids. He may not have even known what he was getting into. Somebody may have knocked on the door, a cute little girl knocks on the door. What do you do? Geez … thank God they don’t knock on my door. I’d refer them to a couple other rooms. But you hate to see that. It’s just too bad, that’s all I can say.

Listen, Honey (NOW people hate when you call them honey), if back to back 3 and 4 win seasons didn’t get Paterno to leave, you certainly won’t.

[CentreDaily]: Women’s group asks Paterno to resign
[50 Yard Lion]: What NOW?
[Friday Free for all]: Why Women should not be allowed to speak

College Football

Imagine the trash talk

If you’ve watched any bad football movies in the past 20 years, you know that the middle linebacker is usually the one who talks the most trash to the QB as he looks over the defensive lineman. Well, AJ Hawk isn’t the Buckeyes MLB but imagine him staring down Brady Quinn during this year’s Fiesta Bowl. Not only is he intimidating as hell with his scraggly beard and scowl, but he has the distinct advantage of dating Laura Quinn, Brady’s sister.

Imagine the possibilities, gridiron fans. In the Adam Sandler movie version, Hawk would make some suggestive moves as Brady’s looking at him. Brady would respond by holding up his thumb and index finger about two inches apart. Then Hawk flies over a lineman and obliterates Quinn. Man, I’ve been watching too many Waterboy reruns on Starz.

[CBS Sportsline]: Ohio State’s Hawk wants to beat up girlfriend…

[]: OSU star dating Quinn sister
[Detroit Free Press]: Whom to root for?