All Other Sports

Stokkemania has officially arrived!

Hey, you stalkers! Don’t screw this up
for the rest of us!

Because of their super-duper hot daughter, Allison, the Stokke family is getting a taste of what it’s like to be a celebrity. And frankly, they say it tastes like crap.

Thanks to creepy bloggers from all over the world, ourselves included, the high school pole vaulter has, well, vaulted up the charts in search engines and become one of the most talked about subjects in the blogosphere. In fact, she has blown up to Washington Post status as the news juggernaut published an article on the 18-year-old’s new found fame. In addition to school work and track endeavors, Stokke must now put up with paparazzi, bikini photo request, potential stalkers, nasty blogs and fake Facebook profiles.

Even if none of it is illegal, it just all feels really demeaning,” Allison Stokke said. “I worked so hard for pole vaulting and all this other stuff, and it’s almost like that doesn’t matter. Nobody sees that. Nobody really sees me.

Hey, we can totally understand how hard this has to be for a young girl. Suddenly being thrust into a world where you are being objectified by millions for no other reason than simply walking the earth. It really isn’t fair…but, she better get use to it. The snowball has already begun rolling and now it’s just going to continue growing until the public gets their fill of Stokke. Which will probably be around age 50! But who knows, maybe she is just an overnight sensation who will disappear as quickly as she showed up; doubtful but possible.

In the end, as long as nobody gets carried away and does anything against the law, this is simply a case of boys being boys. Her own mother even said so:

All of it is like locker room talk,” said Cindy Stokke, Allison’s mom. “This kind of stuff has been going on for years. But now, locker room talk is just out there in the public. And all of us can read it, even her mother.

We’re just hoping that Allison can adapt to her sudden and uncomfortable celebrity without too much stress and that her “fans” can distinguish between right and wrong as they admire their teenage heartthrob.


[]: Teen Tests Internet’s Lewd Track Record

3 replies on “Stokkemania has officially arrived!”

I think I speak for everyone… — when I say…shut up and get naked now. hahaha

i don’t think she’ll be complaining — when the checks start rolling in. And Matt, don’t be that guy. I want to.

Quit saying I am stalking her — I am just following her around, trying to watch her do things, without her knowing it, because I … uh … don’t want to bother her … or something.

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