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NFL General

Don’t worry; you’re not the only person whose fantasy lineup is getting decimated


As if the pathetic performances by most of the NFL’s elite running backs haven’t been disappointing enough for fantasy owners, here we are going into week four and some of the first round, money players are already getting bitten by the injury bug.

The enigmatic artists formerly known as the St. Louis Rams got some distressing news on Monday, but it’s not nearly as painful for them as it is for their star back. Steven Jackson will miss at least one week with a partial tear in his groin that he obtained in Sunday’s loss to the Buccaneers. According to Scott Linehan, Jackson’s status is week to week which is about as bad as it gets for fantasy GMs. We have no experience with torn groins, but we’re guessing that running full speed and cutting on a dime are probably pretty painful. Make room for Jackson at the end of your bench and grab rookie Brian Leonard if you can. This could be the beginning of a long guessing game for Jackson owners.

Then there is Seattle’s best, Shaun Alexander. The Seahawks running back ran for 100 yards on Sunday and then on Monday, Mike Holmgren said that he had a broken left wrist. Good news is that it’s a `play with the pain’ kinda injury and team doctors will just slap a cast on him and send him out on the field. This is defiantly a must monitor situation because we all remember how a fractured foot cost him six games last year.

Throw in other significant happenings in the league like Deuce McAllister‘s injury that will probably keep him out for the remainder of the season, Jake Delhomme‘s strained right elbow, Vernon Davis‘ sprained knee ligament, the Matt Leinart/Kurt Warner merry-go-round, Brian Westbrook‘s abdominal stain, Hines Ward‘s bruised knee, Calvin Johnson‘s bad back, Marc Bulger’s broken ribs
(whew!) and unless you had Kevin Curtis or Ronnie Brown blowing up for your team, you’re probably still bummed out over the fantasy hits you took this week.

Categories
NFL General

ESPN’s fantasy football draft bombs before it even goes live

When it comes to news about the NFL, ESPN is usually a pretty accurate channel to turn to. However, when it comes to the world of fantasy football, we’ve learned that it’s better to just skip out on the juggernaut’s advice or, at least, their fantasy draft specials.

Tonight at 6:30 CT, ESPN will be conducting their annual live fantasy draft and they’ve assembled another panel of boring “celebrity” blah to completely misguide you. This year’s drafters consist of the following ‘experts’: Cato June, Sean Salisbury, Mark Schlereth (aka Roc Hoover), Steve Young, Chris Mortensen, Michael Smith, Nick Bakay and Jerry O’Connell. Guess ESPN used up all their quality star connections in those stupid Who’s Now segments.

Listen, we know that most of these guys know their football, but that doesn’t mean they know their fantasy football. After all, Mortensen took Reggie Bush at No. 6 overall last year and Mike Ditka took the Bears defense in the fourth round! If that’s not pure homerism then we don’t know what is. And two years ago, Suzy Kolber dished out the worst advice in fantasy history when she took Brett Favre with her first pick! Sorry guys, but this crappy show just isn’t worth our valuable time or the 1.5% of our DVR’s memory that would be wasted to record it.

But now that we’ve mentioned lil’ Suzy, there’s no way we could not show her other career defining moment:

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: ESPN “Celebrity” Fantasy Football League Filled With Big Names

Categories
Fantasy Football

Fantasy Football costs employers $1.1 billion a week



Putting the interns to work

According to consulting firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, people checking their fantasy teams costs employers $1.1B a week in lost productivity. CEO John Challenger says that fantasy football, online poker and eBay are the biggest time suckages in the workplace. This is surprising because with all the time we spent on sports blogs, we didn’t have any time left over for online poker or eBay.

Still, Challenger says that employers shouldn’t ban fantasy football from the workplace.


The potential damage to morale and loyalty resulting from a fantasy football ban could be far worse than the loss of productivity caused by 10 minutes of online team management.

What Challenger really meant is that lazy son of a bitch in the cubicle next to yours isn’t going to do any work anyway so what is the difference if he spends his time trolling the waiver wires or forwarding chain-emails for free jeans from the Gap – IT REALLY WORKS!

Of course, the next logical step in employee-employer relations is to do absolutely no work and just spend the day managing your multiple fantasy teams. Why waste only 34 minutes a day on fantasy football when you can waste the entire 8 hours? And if your boss says anything to you, tell him he’s ruining morale in the workplace.

Links:

[Reuters]: Fantasy football sacks real work production

Categories
Fantasy Football

Due to technical difficulties…

We are only publishing an abbreviated blog today. And by technical difficulties, we mean we have to go get drunk, gamble, get drunk some more and then visit the… erm… “cultural attractions” in Montreal for our Fantasy Football Draft! Have a great weekend.