Categories
Utah Jazz

Utah hates Ric Bucher more than the Rockets at the moment

Utah hates Ric Bucher more than the Rockets at the moment


You might as well just call ’em butter because ESPN is on a roll. Not only are they calling out baseball players on their age, they are also calling out Mormons for being too happy.

ESPN is apologizing for some anti-Mormon remarks directed at noisy Utah Jazz fans, but it took some prompting.

NBA writer Ric Bucher was not very kind to Jazz fans on an ESPN radio show. “They are Mormons, and they are in Salt Lake, and there is nothing else there. You know, you gotta smile and be happy all the time. This is the one opportunity for people to get vicious,” Bucher said.

A day later, Bucher said he was sorry. “I regret making that connection and apologize to anyone of the Mormon faith for having done so,” he said.

The pre-recorded apology only came after KSL and several other media outlets asked to interview him. He hopes it works. “And that all citizens of Salt Lake City will find it in their hearts to welcome me as hospitably as they have in the past,” Bucher said.

ESPN also sent out a statement saying: “We spoke to Ric and he understands that his comments were inappropriate. This type of religious generalization has no place on our outlets and we apologize.”

Guess you were wrong Ric, because now they have two opportunities to get vicious.

Links:

[KSL.com]: ESPN commentator apologizes for anti-Mormon comments

Categories
Houston Astros

Miguel Tejada gets two years older in one day


Miguel Tejada came clean on Wednesday and admitted to pulling a Danny Almonte. Turns out that Tejada lied to Oakland when he first entered the league, but after arriving in Houston where they wanted all his information, he decided that he didn’t “want to lie to them.” Oh, and ESPN totally busted him.

“I’m a poor kid that wanted to be a professional big leaguer,” he said as he discussed his reasoning for claiming he was 17 instead of 19 when signing with the Oakland Athletics in 1993. “I was thinking that was the only way that I could help my family. By the time we did it, it wasn’t because we wanted to do anything wrong to be a professional.

“The scout just did it because at that time I was two years older than I (told them). And to play in the Dominican Summer League you’ve got to be like 17. That’s why he changed the year. Because the only change is the year.”

Tejada and the Astros revealed the news after ESPN surprised him at Citizens Bank Park with a copy of his birth certificate, which the network obtained in the Dominican.

Ah, the Worldwide Leader in Backdooring People Into Admitting Their True Age.

Links:

[Chron.com]: Tejada turns 33 in a flash

Categories
All Other Sports

Women’s pool just got dirtier and smellier

We’ll admit it, we’re not the biggest fans of women’s pool. However, we are willing to give it a shot if every match has as many bloopers as this one. The announcer lady brings her “A-game” to the pool table for this contest, showing off her amazing penis drawing abilities and immediately following it up with a huge fart. That’s skill.

Say what you will about Mike Tirico, but he would never try to blame a fart on Tony Kornheiser or Jaws. And that’s why he’s a pro.

Categories
MLB General

Pull out your hankies, it’s fantasy baseball time at ESPN

We know that the NBA is “where amazing happens,” but we’re just now finding out that ESPN fantasy baseball is, well, it’s apparently where estrogen and hormones happens.

Not enough drama for ya? Well, go grab a box of Bon Bons, put on your Tweety Bird slippers and crawl under a nice, warm quilt because the fellas at ESPN put together a whole slew of commercials to keep you crying, laughing, hating, smiling, cringing and loving fantasy baseball.

Endless Drama – Episode 2
Endless Drama – Episode 3
Endless Drama – Episode 4
Endless Drama – Episode 5
Endless Drama – Episode 6
Endless Drama – Episode 7

Don’t worry if you still haven’t got your fix of fastballs to your feminine side; according to the website, there are at least two more episodes on their way.

Links:

[ESPN]: Endless Drama Home

Categories
College Basketball

Bob Knight falls asleep at the idea of going back to Indiana

Last night, amidst all the Bracetology talk on ESPN‘s family of networks, Dick Vitale unveiled his blueprint to “dominate college basketball.” And frankly, it all seemed to bewilder/bore Bob Knight.

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: AAFL – All-Around Failure League


Believe it or not, but yet another football league has gone under. Well, that’s not exactly true because the All American Football League isn’t giving up just yet. The AAFL is being forced to postpone its 2008 opening season until 2009 due to a lack of financial funding.

The league’s chief executive officer, Marcus Katz, said economic conditions forced the decision to scrap plans for this year.

“I invested 29 million dollars in cash to roll out the operations of the league,” Katz told the station, adding he was owed “a lot more money” by a student loan company.

“When I told the board I would subsidize the league, that was before the bond market collapsed,” Katz said.

Say what you will about Vince McMahon’s pathetic XFL, but at least they had an opportunity to prove they sucked on the field.

In other news…

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: The NCAA doesn’t like ESPN

[The Big Lead]: Clay Buchholz scores a perfect dame

[ThePittsburghChannel.com]: Billy Crystal, you’re outta here!

[Smarter Sports Blog]: Reporter flips over covering sled race

[CBS4Denver.com]: Barry Bonds alleged use of roids pays off in a big way…just not for him

[The Swim Aids]: Golfers don’t like the idea of random drug tests

[Jibblescribbits]: Is Alexander Ovechkin the lost love child of Andre the Giant? You decide

[Links Link]: It’s been a bad week for John Daly…wait, aren’t all his weeks bad weeks?

Categories
General Sports

Will Ferrell stops by ESPN to chat with some guy we’ve never seen before

Will Ferrell is a very revealing guy and we’re not just talking about his the tiny short shorts he wears in his new flick Semi-Pro. For instance, did you know he has some sick post moves, he sweats a lot and Glenn “Big Baby” Davis patterns his game after Mr. Ferrell? See, you actually can learn something from the morons on ESPN.

Categories
All Other Sports

ESPN slips deeper into the toilet

We know that ESPN has a ton of time to kill every week, so we can understand all the greatest highlight gimmicks and even the contest to determine the hottest athletes, but we have no idea what Bullseye Ball is. Nor do we want to after seeing who its champion is.

On second thought, it might not be the most glamorous segment ever on ESPN, but anything that keeps Stu Scott off the screen can’t be all that bad.

Categories
General Sports

The dark side of Chris Berman

Outside of John Madden, Chris Berman has the most recognizable face and voice in all of NFL television coverage. He’s been a staple of ESPN for decades now and his “whaaaap” and car crash sound effects are things of legend. Of course, he’s also one of the most annoying men to ever strap on a microphone and his gimmickry is killing the NFL, but when it comes down to showtime, he’s a professional through and through. Yup; cool, calm, collected and professional. That’s the Swami.

Good to know we’re not the only ones with a `close your eyes and rub your temples’ kind of feeling when he’s in studio.

Links:

[The Wizard of Odds]: Chris Berman Goes Crazy

Categories
New England Patriots

Tom Brady broke Marsha’s nose?! Are you friggin’ kidding us!

Usually you have to be a fallen star in order to wind up on E!‘s True Hollywood Story series, but the same doesn’t hold true for the fellas at ESPN. Since Brett Favre is out of the playoff picture, the SportsCenter crew is clamoring for crap to fill in the now empty, humongous gaps of time previously dedicated to their football deity. So, without No. 4 around, the crew shifted their attention to the next best thing, Tom Brady and his rarely mentioned childhood as one of THE Brady kids.

Okay, can we please go back to hearing about what kind of shoes/boot Tom is wearing?