Chicago Bears

Odds and Ends: Chicago journalist finally realizes how awesome G-reg is

You remember Lovie Smith don’t you? He’s part of the historic duo of coaches who met in the Super Bowl last year. No, not cause they’re black but because they’re two good Christian Coaches. And with the league’s new emphasis on personal conduct, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that the Bears are drafting folks with high character. Take for example, Greg Olsen. Greg penned this little ditty about his views on women:

Chillin’ on the 7th flo’, I gotta let these chickens know
Big Greg is in the house, and I’m fittin’ to make these hoes choke
On my balls, on my dick, then I bust a nut, quick
On her face, on her chest, stick my dick between her breasts
Come on, fellas, let’s get weird, stick ya dick up in her ear
While I’m laughin’ at these guys, a second nut all in her eyes

What is this lady complaining about? That certainly isn’t any more offensive than JJ Redick’s poety and no one wrote an article about him. If you wanna hear the whole song, head on over to Flash Warner.

And in other news…

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: KTKR producer fired after the fake Iverson interview stunt

[WBRS]: Vlade Divac accused of selling counterfeit crap

[Inside Bay Area]: Barkley: “I’ve never been to Sausalito. They got a team over there?”

[]: Couple claims Josh Hancock was drunk off his ass day of accident and refused a cab

And finally, two random stories and a video. First, via Fark, comes a hilarious headline from WSOC TV:”Royals To Get A Taste Of Angels’ Colon”. That’s just wrong. Second, what the f is wrong with Boy George? And third, check out this hilarious video of members of Chelsea answering “who is the best looking person on your team?”

Chicago Bears

The hat that launched a $100,000 fine now on ebay

Last week, there was a lot of press about Brian Urlacher getting fined $100,000 by the league for promoting a company at the Super Bowl media day that wasn’t an official sponsor of the NFL. Urlacher was sporting a Vitamin Water hat during his interviews and the NFL honchos (as they should) had to crack down and fine him.

In addition to the NFL’s standard policy of donating fines to the United Way, the disciplinary measure will have another positive effect. Urlacher gave the hat to B96, a radio station in Chicago, and they gave it to a pregnant woman whose husband is currently in Afghanistan. She was originally going to send it to him over there but they decided to put he hat up on ebay to pay off some debts.

The current bid is at $9,500. That’ll pay a few bills.

[AOL Fanhouse]: Brian Urlacher’s Vitamin Water Hat on eBay

[ebay]: Authentic Brian Urlacher Vitaminwater Hat He Wore!

Chicago Bears

Devin Hester does his best Ozzy impression

Devin Hester might be the fastest man in Madden history but that doesn’t make him a good singer. But, like so many before him, Hester was asked to sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” in front of the Cubbies crowd and, like so many before him, he fell flat on his face. Here’s the horrific proof that Hester definitely belongs on the field and not in a recording studio.

Chicago Bears

Devin Hester will get a perfect 100 rating in Madden 08

From our friends over at WBRS sports comes this little tidbit for all you Madden heads. Devin Hester will get a perfect 100 rating in the speed category in Madden 08. No one has ever gotten this before. Not DeAngelo Hall, not Michael Bennett, not Champ Bailey, not even Deion.

That’s just about the best thing you could have told me,” Hester said with a huge smile, when informed of his new Speed rating. “It’s an honor — I don’t know what to say, really.

Considering all the time that NFL players spend playing Madden, we’re sure he’s completely sincere. (It certainly beats being Ethan Albright.) Hester is probably hoping though that he doesn’t make the cover of Madden 08 so he can avoid the curse. Our money says that Peyton Manning will be on the new cover of ’08.

By the way, we found this great website of custom Madden covers that you can download and print. What a great way to jinx your most hated team.

[WBRS Sports]: As Fast As Tecmo Bo?

Chicago Bears

Lance Briggs and Drew Rosenhaus are tools

Lance Briggs and Drew Rosenhaus have a new plan. Instead of sitting out the year as they originally threatened, they are going to exploit the collective bargaining rules and sit out only ten games. By showing up to work for the last six games of the season, Briggs gets credit for the whole year of service.

The Bears can tag him again next season but after two seasons of being tagged, rules say he has to get paid the average of the top 5 salaries in the league regardless of position if the Bears tag him for a third season. Considering the headache that he’s causing them, the chances of that happening are worse than the Lions winning the Super Bowl.

Briggs seems to have the leverage here as he’s willing to give up a chunk of change this year to minimize his injury risk so he can get the big bucks guaranteed next year. The Bears (and you better believe other owners are watching) have to tread carefully or the franchise tag becomes more of a joke than it already is. If they give into Briggs and Rosenhaus, they might be opening up a can of worms. However, if they let him sit out the ten games, they have a distraction for ten games and there is no indication that Briggs will be in game shape for their (expected) playoff run. This of course has the Redskins faithful abuzz with a possible trade for Briggs.

We don’t have anything to say,” team president Ted Phillips said Monday. We franchised him. He’s going to make a lot of money. We think he’s a good player, and we want him on our team. It’s as simple as that from our standpoint.

They knew this was coming months ago. It’s not a big surprise. … It’s part of the system. It’s just a tool we have. Free agency is a tool the players have.

Yep, tools all around.

[Chicago Sun Times]: Briggs plans 10-game holdout to combat franchise ta

Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson gets 4 month prison sentence

Tank Johnson will be spending the next 60-120 days in jail despite Lovie Smith calling him a “good guy” who just made some bad decisions. We’re so sick of this “bad decisions” and “wrong place at the wrong time” stuff.

As a young kid, I grew up hard . . . I have made some mistakes in my life that are well-documented,” Johnson told Moran before being sentenced in a Skokie courtroom. But, he said, “I don’t believe I am a man who belongs in jail. I believe I deserve a chance to get it right.

You did get your second chance you dumbass. It was called probation. At some point, you have to not violate your probation by owning unregistered firearms. And you have to not get your bodyguard killed by going out to a club and getting into a fight.

Lovie also added that jail time would be “devastating” for Johnson’s playing career. Well isn’t that a shame. Because when normal criminals get sentenced to jail, it does wonders for their careers.

Don’t worry Bears fans, Tank’s incarceration won’t ruin the Bears chances next year — having Rex Grossman as your QB has already done that.

[Chicago Sun Times]: Bears’ star Johnson thrown in the tank
[MSNBC]: Bears’ Johnson sentenced to 4 months in jail

Chicago Bears

Rush Limbaugh really is a big fat idiot

Who is the biggest idiot?

From (not worth linking to):

You know, the game was the game, and the game was what it was, but I can’t handle any more press criticism of Rex Grossman. They’re writing his name “W-r-e-c-k-s,” saying he was the worst quarterback ever to play in the Super Bowl, and it’s been like this since the Green Bay game — actually, since the Arizona game. There was a little crescendo of it in the Green Bay game, the last game of the season for the Bears, and it’s just unrelenting. They’re focusing on this guy like they don’t focus on anybody — and I’ll tell you, I know what it is. The media, the sports media, has got social concerns that they are first and foremost interested in, and they’re dumping on this guy, Rex Grossman, for one reason, folks, and that’s because he is a white quarterback.

Wow. Is he really this stupid? Yeah, the reason why everyone dumps on Sexy Rexy isn’t because he stinks and basically cost the Bears the Super Bowl, it’s because the self-loathing white media hates white people. Just like they hate Tom Brady and Peyton Manning… prime examples of great players denigrated by the media for the color of their skin. Whatever hell Rush Limbaugh ends up in will be too good for him.

(via Can’t Stop the Bleeding)

NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – 4th Quarter

Our pick for MVP

[Newest comments will appear on top.]

Postgame Don Shula is still the man in Miami as he gets to bring the Vince Lombardi trophy to Roger Goodell to present to Jim Irsay and Tony Dungy. Jim Irsay looks kinda slimy and he just had the worst transition in the history of SB acceptance speeches.

Who had Tony Dungy being the first guy to mention The Lord? What’s the payout on that? And…um… have we ever had two non-Christian coaches in the Super bowl?

More importantly… the MVP goes to… Peyton Manning. Somehow the presenting of the MVP trophy has turned into The Price is Right as Peyton gets to take home a Caddy. Sad. Manning doesn’t really deserve this award but he’s the biggest media guy on the Colts and they couldn’t give it to Tony Dungy. Rhodes truly was the MVP though.

Allright, that does it for us over here at SC blog. We leave you with one final thought: How much weed is Edgerring James blazing up right now?

0:00 And it’s over. Colts win 29-17. Gamblers taking the Colts covered. Also, the over/under was 47 points. Hmmm… the holder for the Colts should watch his back. Congratulations to the Colts and Tony Dungy and their fans. What a great ride for those guys.

What are the odds that someone asks Lovie Smith what it feels like to be the first black coach to lose a Super Bowl?

Sorry Sarah Spain about your Bears but nothing good can come out of being associated with something as shitty as Axe Body Spray.

1:42 Bears eschew the FG and take a couple more seconds off the clock. The Bears are trying to mount a desperate comeback that is destined to end with another Rex Grossman INT.

I’m breathlessly awaiting the winner of the NFL Super Bowl ad contest. (Meanwhile Honda is wasting money.)
Wait… was that it? It’s so hard to say goodbye? With a final shot of Favre? Fucking hell. That was a disgrace.

5:32 Desmond Clark’s inability to hold onto the ball means this game is pretty much over unless there is some miracle. Now is the time to play conservative, Dungy. Chicago will be ripping at the ball on every play. The aforementioned Bears-Cards MNF must be haunting Colts fans right now. Rhodes is making his bid for MVP as he picks up a huge first down.

5:55 Already in 4 down territory, the Bears have a uge 4th and 9 here. If they don’t convert this, the fat lady will head towards the stage.

7:31 Is Tony Dungy/Tom Moore trying to Schottenheimer this game?

9:55 The fat lady is getting warmed up. Rex just threw another INT and the Colts are set up to put this thing away if they can put together a little drive. Expect plenty of Addai and Rhodes for the rest of this game. Harrison played decently and Wayne had that big TD but the MVP of this game are the running backs and the Colts defense.

Can anyone tell me what that celebration the Colts do means? It’s like a golf clap/ tipped pass indication.

11:44 Uhhh nevermind. Hayden just returned an INT for a TD. Will Grossman be the first QB to get replaced since Tony Eason? The Bears challenge but the play stands. Tony Corrente is determined not to be mentioned in the same breath as Bill Leavy. Colts up 29-17. Everyone is IMing me that the game is over but does anyone remember the Bears-Cardinals MNF game. Granted that was the Cards but crazier things have happened this year.

Al Davis is ready to overpay for Hayden and then have him rot on the bench.

13:54 Marvin Harrison hurts his leg on an incomplete. This could prove big in Colts next drive. Just answered my last question. It could be Muhsin Muhammad.

14:30 I know it’s still early but who would get the MVP at this point if the Colts were to win? Joseph Addai? Who would get it if the Bears win? The entire special teams? Whoever scores the TD?

NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – 3rd Quarter


[Newest comments will appear on top.]

0:37 Tony Dungy makes a good challenge on the Marvin Harrison catch but we’ll see if the ref agrees with him. The 3rd quarter is winding down and it’s been pretty good so far. Yep folks, it is a catch. Indy wins the challenge. The ref who overruled the initial call looks pretty silly now. The Colts convert the 3rd and 2 and that takes us to the end of the 3rd Quarter.

1:30 Robbie Gould comes up pretty big and knocks in a 44 yard FG after Grossman almost throws an INT.

3:16 The Colts kicking team will be shot if they lose this game. They just set up the Bears on their 40 yard line.

And there it is, the airing of the Kevin Federline commercial that was leaked onto the internet early this week. Great commercial. Bud Light & Axe one is pretty funny too. The Nationwide Kevin Federline commercial and the spots are in the running for best commercial.

4:01 The Colts march down the field but they can’t knock it into the endzone. Adam Vinatieri gets the FG and the Colts are up by 8. The Bears offense has to run at least 6 plays this possession or the Bears defense will be cursing them out at they come off the field. wins.

6:17 Rex Grossman almost turned it over twice and the Colts will get it back and the Bears defense comes back onto the field.

It’s always disappointing when companies recycle old commercials for the Super Bowl. We expect a new commercial if you’re going to spend this much money on a slot. Listen Coke, this comemrcial showing “coke-machineland” isn’t so great that you need to show it here.

7:45 A very stupid challenge by Tony Dungy. Why would you challenge that unless you had video/photo proof already? Adam Vinatieri (not going to prematurely type this one cause I jinxed him on the last one) makes it and the Colts are up 19-14. As dominating as the Colts have been, they are a kick return or fumble return away from losing the game.

15:00 Total of 6 turnovers in that first half only lead to 7 points. Either the defenses are great at recovering or the offenses are piss poor. Colts are dominating on the stat board but only lead by 2 points. Here we go with the second half…

NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – Halftime

-Welcome to the Blockbuster Total Access CBS NFL Today CSI Miami Halftime Show sponsored by Chevy Trucks and Fed Ex! Now we have to listen to Shannon Sharpe who has a Dr. Scholl’s shoe insert for a tongue. Bring on the Purple One already! By the way, what weighs more, Prince or one of Booger McFarland’s thighs?

-A man really shouldn’t be able to make a noise like Prince just made… unless he actually is burning to death. I know this is mean but I really want to see a dancer fall on her ass. It’s actually amazing they can pull this off on a stage that wet.

-Uh…. just as I thought “All Along the Watchtower” was weird, Prince just launched into the Foo Fighters’ “Best of You”. Am I high? Now Prince is doing Purple Rain. I’m so confused. How the hell did “Best of You” get into this medley?

– Woooo… thank goodness that’s over. Halftime shows are completely useless. The only way that would have been good at all was if Prince broke out his assless jeans again.