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LA Lakers

NBA Basketball is back and so is the Chuckster’s big ol’ mouth. Yippee!


After news broke of Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson’s little spat the other day, it was just a matter of time before the Round Mound of Rebound weighed in on the situation. Especially considering that the season tips off tonight and Sir Charles just happens to have his weekly forum back. You’re going to have to tune in to TNT to see what he says live, but we already have a pretty good idea of what it might be.

What Phil Jackson said yesterday, that was like they’re at the point of no return now. There’s a point where you know you can make a marriage work, but what Phil Jackson said yesterday, that was the end of it,” Barkley said at a luncheon with fellow studio analyst Kenny Smith.

“That’s the one thing I respect most about Kevin Garnett. Even though he played on terrible teams, there is not a player in the last 10 years who played harder than Kevin Garnett. And that’s the one thing that disappoints me. Phil said that Kobe’s just going through the motions. … And if your coach tells you you’re just going through the motions, that’s pretty much the end of the straw.

“The end of the straw”??? Charles, have you been hanging out with Emmitt Smith again?

But Barkley wasn’t done with the drama in La La Land just yet.

Smith said Bryant broke “etiquette rules” by publicly criticizing teammates during his trade demand. Barkley was harder on Bryant’s actions since camp opened. Bryant skipped practices and games – Barkley called it a “sabbatical” – after Buss said he would consider trading his star, and Barkley blames both of them for creating the situation.

“When Jerry Buss comes into training camp and says they’re going to trade Kobe, Kobe says, All right, I’m going to take a week’s vacation,’ ” Barkley said.

“Jerry shouldn’t have said that. Wasn’t no doubt in my mind (Bryant) was just blowing off games and practice because he was (mad) about what Dr. Buss said. They shouldn’t have said that. He should have went to Kobe Kobe you want to be traded, we’ll try to make it work.’ But the guy’s skipping practices, going through the motions.

Okay, we haven’t even started the season yet and we’re officially sick of the Lakers. Can we just skip the games and go straight to `Where We At?

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: Barkley calls out Kobe

Categories
NBA General

Skinny Charles Barkley gets Punk’d

Now, we probably don’t need to tell you this, but this clip of Charles Barkley getting pranked on the golf course is really, really old. Maybe we could tell because of the ugly fashions of the day or maybe it had to do with the guest appearance by Hersey Hawkins. Nope, the real reason you know this is happened in a time long, long ago is because Sir-cumference actually looks like one half of his current self. While his girth might have increased over time, the one thing that remains the same is that if you put Barkley in front of a camera, you will get a chuckle out of Chuckles.

And don’t worry, if Barkley ever gets his revenge on Hersey, we’ll bring you the tape.

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NBA General

Inside the NBA and sound bites; a match made in heaven

There’s only one thing we love more than an NBA playoff game, well there is that high school pole vaulter…ok, so there’s two things we love more than an NBA playoff game: apparently pole vaulting and, of course, an NBA playoff game on TNT. See, ordinary playoff coverage on ABC and ESPN brings you the facts and nothing but the facts. How boring. But the fellas at Inside the NBA show their audience that the game goes beyond the 48 minutes spent sweating on the court. So if you missed any of the great late night action with EJ, the Jet and Chuckles then here’s a quick recap.

It is going to be one sad day indeed when Charles Barkley decides to hang up his microphone. Mainly because it means that he’ll probably be running for governor of Alabama, but also because we won’t get to hear classic phrases like “Go to that box! Go to that box! And punish them midgets!” But we figure that with a mouth that big there is now way to avoid blunders of gubernatorial proportions should he get elected. Hey, if two steroid pumping meatheads from Predator can get into office then we’re saddened to say that Sir Cumference probably can too.

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NBA General

Charles Barkley is really Spidey!?!?

We love what we do here at Sportscolumn but don’t be fooled; bloggin’ ain’t easy. So, needless to say, we don’t get out much. And even though we’re pimple-faced, comic book reading dorks at heart; we still haven’t made it out of apartment and into to the light to take in the latest Spider-Man flick. Luckily we have our good friends at Inside the NBA to tell us that we’re not missing much.

Wow, Charles, you weren’t kidding; that movie does look crappy. We didn’t know it was going to be set in an elementary school assembly hall. And since when did they start letting Tobey Maguire do his own stunts? But we were ecstatic to see that Peter Parker slipped the crew an interesting photo that solved the controversy surrounding the identity of everybody’s favorite web head once and for all. And now you know why Spider-Man and Sir Charles have never been seen together.

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NBA General

Sir Charles is the next Billy Blanks

If you’re a night owl like us, then you’re probably use to those horrible late night ads that hit the air around 1:00 in the morning. No, not the 1-900-BIG-JUGS ad that gets run 25 times per hour; we’re talking about the infomercials for crap like 2 Second Abs, The Veg-O-Matic and Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia. But the other night something flashed across the screen that had us jumping outta our Lazy Boys; the collectors edition “Sir Charles Hardwood Classics” DVD. We thought it was all just a dream but it looks like the fellas at Inside the NBA saw the same commercial.

All that and a free Chuckcycle 5000 for the amazing low, low price of just $9.99!! We’re sold!

Categories
Golden State Warriors

Photoshop Geeks have their fun with Charles Barkley


By now, you’ve heard about Charles Barkley saying he hates the Bay Area. We’re pretty sure it’s just the Chuckster being the Chuckster but that didn’t prevent some hurt feelings and some retribution from Warriors fans. Even Baron Davis, Stephen Jackson, and Matt Barnes fought back by making fun of Charles’ Fave 5 commercial. According to Stephen Jackson, Barkley’s real Fave 5 is “McDonalds, Dominos, Burger King. It was Subway, but he pushed them out for Cinnabon. And Krispy Kreme.”

San Francisco Chronicle writer CW Nevius invited his readers to submit some photoshopped pics of Barkley in the Bay Area. There are some clever ones and we’ve posted a few of our favorites below. Still, with all the design geeks in the Bay Area, we think they can do better than the current offerings.

More Photos after the jump.

Categories
Chicago Bears

Odds and Ends: Chicago journalist finally realizes how awesome G-reg is


You remember Lovie Smith don’t you? He’s part of the historic duo of coaches who met in the Super Bowl last year. No, not cause they’re black but because they’re two good Christian Coaches. And with the league’s new emphasis on personal conduct, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that the Bears are drafting folks with high character. Take for example, Greg Olsen. Greg penned this little ditty about his views on women:


Chillin’ on the 7th flo’, I gotta let these chickens know
Big Greg is in the house, and I’m fittin’ to make these hoes choke
On my balls, on my dick, then I bust a nut, quick
On her face, on her chest, stick my dick between her breasts
Come on, fellas, let’s get weird, stick ya dick up in her ear
While I’m laughin’ at these guys, a second nut all in her eyes

What is this lady complaining about? That certainly isn’t any more offensive than JJ Redick’s poety and no one wrote an article about him. If you wanna hear the whole song, head on over to Flash Warner.

And in other news…

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: KTKR producer fired after the fake Iverson interview stunt

[WBRS]: Vlade Divac accused of selling counterfeit crap

[Inside Bay Area]: Barkley: “I’ve never been to Sausalito. They got a team over there?”

[STLToday.com]: Couple claims Josh Hancock was drunk off his ass day of accident and refused a cab

And finally, two random stories and a video. First, via Fark, comes a hilarious headline from WSOC TV:”Royals To Get A Taste Of Angels’ Colon”. That’s just wrong. Second, what the f is wrong with Boy George? And third, check out this hilarious video of members of Chelsea answering “who is the best looking person on your team?”

Categories
NBA General

Barkley is offically a bonehead

We can’t get enough of the Round Mound here at SportsColumn, but our view isn’t shared by everybody. For instance, 620 KTAR out of Phoenix doesn’t seem to appreciate the Chuckster’s criticism of their home team, so they made this spoof for their station. Apparently they think Barkley needs to have “a nice, hot cup of shut the f*** up.” We don’t necessarily agree, but it’s funny as hell anyway.

Categories
NBA General

Do you really want Charles Barkley handling your tax dollars?

If you put a microphone in Charles Barkley’s hand, you will get a good sound bite. And the candid Hall of Famer didn’t disappoint when he spoke to the Downtown Tip-Off Club in Little Rock, Arkansas. Barkley was invited to speak by ex-teammate and current Arkansas-Little Rock assistant coach Joe Klein, but Sir-Cumference wasn’t there to tell of his educational achievements when he was at Auburn. How could he when he skipped out early to go pro.

One year, I was like, ‘I need to go back and see how close I am to graduating.’ I started adding up all my credits, and I asked the guy, ‘What am I?'” Barkley said. “He says, ‘You’re a freshman.’

Well, in that case, he should fit in just fine with the rest of our nations politicians when he runs for governor of Alabama in 2014 (he has to live in Alabama for seven years before running).

I’m gonna win,” Barkley said. “I was born to do great things. I was born to do great things _ I think my No. 1 goal in life is to help poor people and balance the playing field. I didn’t realize that until I got older. … If you’re born poor in this country, you’re going to be in a bad neighborhood, and you’re going to go to a bad school. That’s unfortunate and sad.

Actually, what’s unfortunate and sad is that the possible future governor of Alabama doesn’t know what side of the globe Argentina is on. At least he knows what Alabama looks like.

Links:

[KVOA.com]: Barkley entertains at Arkansas club

Categories
NBA General

Barkley vs Bavetta race video

Here it is folks, the 3 1/2 court length race between the “Black Rhino” and 67 year old official Dick Bavetta.

In a shocking upset, “Sir Cumference” beats Dick “the fixer” Bavetta”. The best part is when Charles says, “and we’re gonna give 2 blackjack hands to charity.”

Youtube