Posted on Fri Feb 15, 2008 at 04:20:01 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: O.J. Simpson, Christie Prody, injury, lying, crime, excuses, funny (all tags)

Things just keep getting worse and worse for the Juice - actually things just keep getting worse and worse for people around the Juice. Reports surfaced on Thursday that O.J. Simpson's girlfriend (that's her first mistake) Christie Prody was hospitalized after supposedly falling and hitting her head. However, according to doctors, the injuries and the story don't seem to add up, leading to the claim that her "severe head injury" could be a result of typical Simpson rage.

Now, we're not ones to make jest of other people's pain; luckily, Best Week Ever is. So, without further ado, we give to you their list of Top 10 Excuses Given to Doctors By O.J.'s Girlfriends.

10. "My boyfriend was just cleaning out his fist collection, and one accidentally went off."

9. "My boyfriend bought me a rose for Valentine's Day, only he forgot to take the thorns off. So you can imagine, when he ran the rose across my neck and face and body... things got a little bloody."

8. "My best friend and I were playing doubles tennis. And she accidentally hit me in the face with the handle of a gun."

7. "Doctor, it's the strangest thing. I'm walkin' down the street, mindin' my own business, just walkin' along, feelin' good. I walk around a corner. A man walk up, hit me in my chest, right? I fall on the ground, right? And I look up, and it's Dr. Martin Luther King! I said, `Dr. King!' He said, `Whoops, I thought you was somebody else.'"

6. "I walked into my mom's fist-shaped doorknob."

5. "I was shopping at Barney's, when I slipped and fell in their Medieval Armor department."

4. "The Jews."

3. "I accidentally knocked over my boyfriend's Heismann trophy, and suddenly, out of nowhere, a 4 by 4 fell from the ceiling and hit me on the back of the head."

2. "I was doing some light gardening when some friends of my boyfriend, including Chris Noth, David Justice, Josh Brolin, Phil Spector and Robert Blake, came by to tell me what a great job I was doing on my rose garden. Then I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs."

1. "I'm O.J.'s Girlfriend."

Links:
[Best Week Ever]: The Top 10 Excuses Given To Doctors By O.J.'s Girlfriends

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments (2 comments)

Posted on Wed Sep 19, 2007 at 01:10:07 PM EST in NFL
More on: O.J. Simpson, crime, bail, robbery, kidnapping (all tags)

By now, you must have heard about the Juice's little Las Vegas incident that got him a total of 11 offenses ranging from conspiracy to commit kidnapping to robbery to assault, all by way of a deadly weapon. If O.J. is convicted then he could be facing life behind bars, but for now he's out on bail.

Simpson had a hearing that lasted for about ten minutes on Wednesday morning and was granted bail by the judge. His bond was set at $125,000.

While we were a little shocked to hear that the loudmouthed decapitator is outta the clink, we were even more shocked to see the further softening of NFL commish Roger Goodell. Letting Bill Belichick off the hook is one thing, but letting O.J. back in the league is completely out of line.

Links:
[AFP]: O.J. Simpson bailed by Las Vegas court on robbery charges

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments

Posted on Mon Sep 17, 2007 at 12:32:59 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: O.J. Simpson, robbery, crime, prison, gun, stupid, sports memorabilia (all tags)

The Juice was at it again as he got arrested on Sunday on chargers of robbing sports memorabilia from an auction house that was setting up shop inside of a Las Vegas hotel. Apparently, OJ showed up to the room with some thugs under the guise that they were customers, but according to Bruce Fromong, another collector inside the room, those were not Simpson's intentions.

The door burst open and they came in almost commando style, O.J. Simpson and some of his people, I guess you would call it, with guns drawn,'' Fromong told ABC's "Good Morning America'' Monday. "O.J. at that time was saying, 'I want my stuff. I want my stuff.'

"The thing in my mind as soon as I saw him, I'm thinking, 'O.J., how can you be this dumb? You're in enough trouble.'''

Fromong said Simpson later left him a voice mail message telling him some of Fromong's things were "mixed up'' with his and asking how he could give them back.

OJ claims that he was simply trying to get back items that were stolen from him. Things are still being sorted out, but Simpson was charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon and conspiracy to commit a burglary with a firearm on Sunday night. He could be facing up to 30 years on each robbery count if he's found guilty.

Oh, but it gets better. Leave it to TMZ.com to unearth the audio of the Juice's holdup in which a voice believed to be Simpson is heard shouting "Don't let nobody out of this room," and "Motherf***ers! Think you can steal my s*** and sell it?"

To be fair though, Fromong said that he never saw a weapon or felt threatened by OJ at any time, but two guns were seized by police during their investigation. We don't know what the heck Simpson was thinking with this stunt, but we're thrilled that everyone walked out of the hotel with their heads still attached.

Links:
[WAVE3.com]: Audiotape released of sports memorabilia dispute involving O.J. Simpson in Las Vegas
[TMZ.com]: O.J.'s Alleged Robbery - Caught on Tape!

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments (1 comment)