Odds and Ends: No Tiger. No problem.

Posted on Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 11:46:29 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: Tiger Woods, PGA, MLB, NBA Draft, Notre Dame, NBC, Mark Cuban, Glen Davis, Doug Christie, Bull Durham, NHL, lacrosse, cheerleader, Charles Barkley, Ron Artest, rap, Odds and Ends (all tags)

With Tiger Woods' season officially coming to a close, the PGA is starting to sweat bullets over losing the game's biggest draw. So, here's a list of 10 Thing The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance, according to The World of Isaac, while Tiger's getting nursed back to health by Elin.

10. Give John Daly the go ahead to do the 18 challenge (18 Hot Dogs, 18 Beers, and 18 shots, 18 Holes)

9. Give Natalie Gulbis an honorary PGA membership for the Summer.

8. Fans get free copies of the next hottest Calendar: The Women of the PGA tour

7. Make Phil Mickelson wear "The Bro" outside his shirt (Big Endorsement)

6. Randomly choose one golfer to get Nancy Kerrigan'd every week and make him limp around the course. Hey, the drama worked for Tiger?

5. Make worse than a bogey=Keg Stand at the next hole

4. If somebody screams "Get in the Hole" and it doesn't go in, make that fan strip naked and run for his life

3. Have a Tim Finchem Dunk Tank at the turn

2. Bring back some old cranky dudes from the Senior tour. Let them go at it from the ladies tee, let them ride carts, let them foot wedge it out of the rough

1. KY Jelly and Mud Wrestling in every available Pond

In other news...

[The Sports Muffin]: Meet Pat Venditte, he's amphibious

[The Recliner GM]: The Best and Worst of the NBA Draft

[Irish Band of Brothers]: Get ready for more crappy Notre Dame football on NBC

[The Cuban Revolution]: Mark ain't the only Cuban who can blog

[Clubhouse Cancer]: Glen Davis is enjoying his championship reign

[850TheBuzz.com]: Doug Christie's wife allows Doug Christie to do a radio interview

[Flatusyahu.com]: Bull Durham gets a facelift

[Can't Stop The Bleeding]: "In a way, that I hoped I shoved it up to somebody's butt"

[YouTube]: Lacrosse cheerleader takes one for the team

[PartMule.com]: According to Jason Kidd, the Chuckster isn't gambling

And finally, it worked for Eminem and Dido, so why can't it work for Ron Artest and Alicia Keys?

Ron Artest raps over Alicia Keys

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments

Odds and Ends: So, you think your fantasy team name is creative, huh?

Posted on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 12:50:21 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: fantasy sports, Michael Wilbon, Forrest Griffin, Quinton Jackson, Terrelle Pryor, Becky Hammon, NBA, Notre Dame, Urban Meyer, UFC, Dana White, pro wrestling, Tiger Woods, Jeff Van Gundy, Odds and Ends (all tags)

"Itchy Pujols": now that's creative!

There's no avoiding it any longer, fantasy sports are American males', and some females', primary obsession in life. You might say that you love your spouse and your kids, but we know where the true emotion lies. Remember when you blew off going to church so you could fine-tune your lineup before the early kickoffs? Or what about the time you skipped your kid's recital in order to watch a Monday Night Football blowout because Jason Elam was your kicker and you trailed by seven points? Of course, the biggie was when you forgot about your anniversary while pondering over the name of your team. Well, thanks to FantasyTeamNames.net, you can avoid the last disaster by simply stealing someone else's creative moniker. Here's a list of the current top ten fantasy team names.

10.Cleavage Rocks
9.Suck My Ditka
8.Bartolo Colonoscopy
7.Fuhrious
6.Vanek at the Disco
5.Human Growth Whore Moans
4.Travis Henry is My Dad
3.My Vick In A Box
2.Itchy Pujols
1.Byrnes When I Peavy

In other news...

[WashingtonPost.com]: Willie Buns explains his run-in with sex kitten/geezer skeezer Kendra

[MMAMania.com]: Forget about Kimbo for a second. Rampage vs. Griffin is right around the corner!

[WaitingForNextYear.com]: One day closer to the field for Terrelle Pryor

[Newsday.com]: What?! Becky Hammon is a filthy traitor!? Wait, who's Becky Hammon?

[OnDeckFantasy.com]: Top 10 NBA ballers that you'd probably consider punching in the face

[Bleacher Report]: Notre Dame hates Urban Meyer

[MMA Stomping Grounds]: Dana White still has a big [expletive deleted] announcement to make, just you [expletive deleted] wait and see

[phillyBurbs.com]: Wrestling's greatest feuds - Taz vs. Sabu

[Tirico Suave]: Tiger Woods, you do not impress Harvey Bars

[YouTube.com]: Wii Fit, it's not just for chicks anymore

And finally, from Awful Announcing, more Deep Thoughts with our boy Jeff Van Gundy.

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments

Brady Quinn is the biggest homer ever

Posted on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 01:41:48 PM EST in College
More on: Brady Quinn, Notre Dame, USC, bet, video (all tags)

Whether you like him or not, Brady Quinn has a lot of things going for him. He's young, rich, and talented, the ladies think he's good looking and he parties like a rock star. However, he's probably not the most rational guy in the world; at least, not when it comes to being objective about his Fighting Irish.

Seriously, he thought they could win the game straight up? No points? If anybody is looking to make a quick buck, just bet Brady that Notre Dame doesn't make a bowl game. Easy money.

Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Brady Quinn In A Trojans Jersey

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments

"Crack open an ice cold Bud Light O' Emperor of Excuses"

Posted on Mon Oct 15, 2007 at 11:47:58 PM EST in College
More on: Notre Dame, football, video, funny (all tags)

If you know anything about anything then you know all about the Real Men of Genius.  Let's see, there's Mr. Driving Range Ball Picker Upper, Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Designer, Mr. Outside the Stadium Peanut Seller, Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer and Mr. Really, Really Tight Jean Wearer.  Then you've got Mr. Bathroom Stall Dirty Joke Writer, Mr. New Shoe Tissue Paper Stuffer, Mr. Basketball Court Sweat Wiper Upper, Mr. Way-Too-Proud-Of-Texas Guy and Mr. Professional Sports Leg Cramp Rubber Outer.

Well, right between Mr. Refuses To Turn On His Air Conditioning Guy and Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller sits the newest addition to the Real Men of Genius family:  Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Hopelessly Pathetic Notre Dame Football Fan.

Links:

[TrojanWire.com]: Today We Salute You, Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Notre Dame Football Fan

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments

Odds and Ends: John Daly's wife is insane

Posted on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 05:57:23 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: John Daly, golf, Nuggets, Georgia, tennis, Notre Dame, Odds and Ends (all tags)

John Daly's wife Sherrie decided to celebrate the 6th anniversary of their meeting by assaulting him with a steak knife and clawing up his face. Big John showed up Saturday with a scratched up face. According to the sheriff's department, he called them to report an assault by his wife on Friday night. The couple met six years ago at the St. Jude Classic and married 53 days later. Unfortunately for John, in redneck circles, the 7th anniversary is known as the "chainsaw anniversary". Watch out big guy.

In other news...

[USA Today]: Nugget DerMarr Johnson tasered outside nightclub

[Chron.com]: Nugget JR Smith injured in SUV accident

[KOAA]: Two Trinidad men are accused of murder after arm wrestling match

[AJC]: Georgia Bulldogs football: running a tight ship since... never

[Sports By Brooks]: He's an actor so maybe he can act like she doesn't look like a man

[TrojanWire]: Who the hell is Charlie Weisu?

[James Mirtle]: Probably best not to read this article if you don't like Gary Bettman

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments

Yep Notre Dame girls sure are ugly

Posted on Wed Feb 14, 2007 at 10:09:33 AM EST in College
More on: college football, Notre Dame (all tags)

Hey coach, how many hot
chicks are there at ND?

Finally, a high school student that has his priorities straight! Kyle Jackson signed with Georgia Tech because he didn't like the look of the co-eds in South Bend.

Notre Dame didn't exactly have the best-looking chicks.

Not that they were ugly, but they were not what I was looking for. There's a big difference between Southern girls and all the others.

We didn't know this but the girls of Notre Dame as so notoriously ugly that in 2002, a senior girl wrote a letter to the Notre Dame newspaper about it. Who knew? (Well, apparently everyone at Michigan.)

We love how college recruiting trips are the high school equivalent of walking into a strip club and deciding whether the chicks are hot enough to stay for 4 years. Sounds like Spike Lee wasn't too far from the truth when he had Jesus Shuttlesworth in that dorm room with Buffy and Suzie. Or check out this post from Every Day Should Be Saturday.

Links:
[The Fanhouse]: GT Recruit Says ND Chicks Unattractive; Franco Still Dead
[AJC]: NATIONAL SIGNING DAY: What we learned

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments (2 comments)

Nov 13 in Sports History: College Football's Game of the Century

Posted on Mon Nov 13, 2006 at 10:52:30 AM EST in College
More on: college football, Notre Dame, Florida State, Dolphins, Mavericks, sports history (all tags)

In 1993: In a college football “Game of the Century” that actually lived up to the hype, no. 2 Notre Dame defeated top-ranked Florida State 31-24 in South Bend. The Irish dominated the Seminoles on the ground, racking up 239 yards rushing with Adrian Jarrell and Lee Becton leading the way to a 31-17 fourth quarter lead. Heisman Trophy winner Charlie Ward rallied the Seminoles to within seven and drove to the Notre Dame 15 in the final seconds, but a fourth down desperation passed was batted away at the goal line, sealing the win for Notre Dame and touching off a wild celebration. It was the eighth time Notre Dame defeated an opponent ranked first in the country. Florida State won the war, however, and ended up claiming the national championship after Notre Dame was upset by Boston College the following week. (nd.cstv.com)

(Here's video of the final play.)

In 1995: Dan Marino became the NFL’s all-time leading passer with 47,003 yards, passing Fran Tarkenton in a 34-17 home loss to the New England Patriots. Marino would go on to break just about every significant passing record in the NFL, including over 60,000 yards, 420 touchdowns, most 3,000-plus yard seasons (13) and most seasons throwing for 4,000-plus yards (six). He also broke the record for most career 300-yard passing games (51) against the Patriots (he ended up with 63). (miamidolphins.com/history)

In 1993: On the same night Notre Dame and Florida State were writing their names in the history books for greatness, the Dallas Mavericks were writing their own story of ineptitude. The (very) pre-Cuban Mavs dropped a tight game to the Jazz 101-100. Dallas would not win again until two days before Christmas, dropping 20 in a row. Right after that win against Minnesota, the Mavs suffered 16 straight letdowns, resulting in 36 losses in 37 games. After a 6-7 stretch, they proceeded to drop another 17 straight games. At 9-66, they flirted with the 1973 Philadelphia Sixers as the worst-ever team, but they “rebounded” to win four of their last seven to end up 13-69. Funny thing was, it was an actual improvement over their 1992-1993 season, when they won a whopping 11 games. (basketball-reference.com)

Permalink | Post A Comment | Read Comments