Posted on Wed May 16, 2007 at 12:44:37 PM EST in NHL
More on: Red Wings, Ducks, NHL, NHL Playoffs (all tags)

Red Wings 5, Ducks 0
The postseason in both sports currently experiencing it can get many titles - "Not that interesting" and "Lacking Individual Stars" come to mind - but here's one I'd like to go with: "Men Behaving Badly."

Nary a night after Robert Horry made Suns vs. Spurs Game 4 look like a hockey game, Chris Pronger whips out a nasty hit in the middle of Anaheim just getting laughed off their own ice in Game 3. Now the Wings are up 2-1, Pronger could get some type of disciplinary action, and here's the aftermath for you, dear fan: out of all the potentially interesting Cup Finals Matchups - say, Buffalo vs. Detroit (Hasek), or Anaheim vs. Buffalo (two really good teams) - we're likely going to get Ottawa vs. Detroit.

Now, I have no problem with this, per se: Ottawa's first line is redonkeyballs, and there's some good storylines there within. But, can the brothers on the ice and the hardwood just start being civil so that we can play these games full strength and see who really deserves a shot to lift the hardware? I hate tainted outcomes, unless I'm the one that cheated and did so successfully. But that was once - third grade dodgeball - and never again.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted's work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

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Posted on Mon May 14, 2007 at 10:22:10 AM EST in NHL
More on: NHL Playoffs (all tags)

Ducks 4, Red Wings 3
Here's a few interesting things about this tilt, which is now 1-1 after Scott Niedermayer scored in OT to put the Ducks over the hump. We like listing things numerically, so that's what we're about to do:

1. Scott Niedermayer is a really good name for a wallflower in high school. You know Biff, from Back to the Future? Can't you just envision him screaming "NEE-DER-MY-ER!" in the same voice as he screamed "MC-FLY?" I can.

2. The fact that the Niedermayer brothers might have surpassed the Sedin twins in terms of "Western Conference relevance" is utterly surprising, although I guess the Ducks were a higher seed.

3. There are several moralistic questions involved with this series right now. For example, if you root for Anaheim to win - and they now have home ice, for whatever that's worth - are you secretly supporting marital discord? See, there's this long-standing rumor that Chris Pronger left Edmonton because he was cheating on his wife and needed to get out of dodge. If you support Detroit, are you a bandwagon guy? I mean, Detroit is en fuego recently: Pistons have lost a scant 1 game in these playoffs, the Tigers are the defending AL Champions, and even Kid Rock seems kinda relevant these days. Do you root for Teemu or Dominik to get their career-validating championship? Do you root for Holmstrom or MacDonald to get on the national radar first? So many questions. I might have to take a nap or something.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted's work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

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Posted on Fri May 11, 2007 at 08:40:03 AM EST in NHL
More on: Senators, Sabres, NHL Playoffs (all tags)

Senators 5, Sabres 2
I'd like to think this series right here might "save hockey," in the sense of giving it a broader cultural relevance again. If Game 1 is any indication, I'm sorely mistaken. Here's the problem: Buffalo had a lead, then squandered it (I'm not sure what else the city of Buffalo does, athletically), and the Senators ultimately won by three goals. This game, mind you, was in Buffalo, thus shifting home-ice advantage. The Sabres dropped a game at home to the Islanders in Round 1, but that's The Islanders, and this is The Senators, and there's a big difference aside from quality of generic nickname.

Since I didn't write up my Eastern Conference Preview yesterday (sue me; I was at Spider Man 3), I'll offer it up now, by way of a story from the way back. When the Red Wings and Avalanche were predominant, year-in-and-year-out rivals, they were playing in (I believe) the Western Conference Finals in the late 1990s or early 2000s. In one game, Claude Lemieux laid an absolutely disgusting hit into the boards on Kris Draper. Gary Thorne, calling the game, said (with limited emotion, which is odd for him calling hockey): "Far boards. Draper. (Pause) Draper's hurt. (Pause) Oh, Draper's hurt. He was leveled by Claude Lemieux." It's funny if you hear it, and also if you see it, because the ref just grabs Lemieux and shoves him towards the penalty box.

The relevance of that story is simple: every time I think about this series, I can hear Thorne in my head saying: "It wasn't blood. It was paint." No, no, that's not it. I can hear him saying: "Far boards. Drury. Drury's hurt." Chris Drury, the lifeblood of the Sabres in many respects (notably being a guy consistently associated with winning, which they aren't), is going to get absolutely leveled by someone in this series, and that's gonna cause another brawl the size of the one they had in February. As Lindy Ruff screamed at Bryan Murray during a recent meeting between those teams, "Do that (expletive) to some hack. Don't go after our (expletive) captain."

Point is, this series will get personal. Once it does, I think the Sabres can show enough fire to get themselves back to a Cup - hell, they need this more than any sporting city needs anything right now, I'd argue - and contend with whoever I think is winning the West, which you'll learn tomorrow. I'd say it takes 'em 7, and hopefully Game 7 is epic, and blood is all over the ice. Then we know hockey's back.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted's work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

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Posted on Tue May 08, 2007 at 10:45:15 AM EST in NHL
More on: Sharks, Red Wings, NHL Playoffs (all tags)

Red Wings 2, Sharks 0
Most people who've seen my ramblings on the Internet know my Sharks connection, but I'll summarize it here: I've never even set foot in the city of San Jose, but in August of 1999, a scant two weeks before I went off to college, my dad and I were shopping for potential room posters. I came across a Sharks poster in the bargain bin and, liking the colors more than anything, I purchased it. I threw it up on Move In Day, and sure enough, the token "Awkward Kid Who Lives on Your Hallway" (everyone has one) was from San Jose in my floor's case, and came in all atwitter. Over that year, we bonded - we once got absolutely hammered watching a Sharks game, which might have been the first time he ever got drunk - and actually became pretty good friends. It's entirely based, at least initially, on the Sharks. I'm intrigued by the power of sports to bring people together in an almost religious way, and the Sharks were the first team I saw it with, which is utterly random but also fun in many ways.

So, I'm a "Sharks fan," at least as much as one person can be without ever really watching an entire game of theirs sober. So, it hurt me last night when they got bounced from the NHL's postseason boogie in favor of the Red Wings, especially knowing they held a 2-0 lead on said Wings at one point. A 41 year old goalie, Mr. Hasek, looked like he was 25 last night in stoning virtually everything the Sharkies threw at him. 'Twas depressing, and yet again, the Sharks will not compete for Lord Stanley.

With the Red Wings win, the Conference Finals are set: Anaheim vs. Detroit, in a rematch of an interesting rivalry; and Buffalo vs. Ottawa, in a rematch of an utter bloodbath. I'll write more about that later today for Sportscolumn. For now, I have to drown my Sharks tears with some Starbucks Coffee, which is roughly equivalent to sticking a hot brick of dirt in your mouth.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted's work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

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Posted on Mon Apr 30, 2007 at 10:33:23 AM EST in NHL
More on: Rangers, Sabres, Ducks, Canucks, NHL Playoffs (all tags)

Rangers 2, Sabres 1
The Blueshirts hadn't beaten the - uh, Blueshirts from the other part of the state, I guess - in 7 tries this season, and for a while, it seemed like it would be eight. See, this puppy went into one overtime, and then, as is the proper style for these NHL playoffs, it went into a second overtime, and that went close to 17 minutes - we were approaching the dastardly THIRD OVERTIME - before someone (specifically, Michal Rozsival) scored on a screened off Ryan Miller. It's 2-1 Sabres series-wise, which is the mathematical inverse of the score of this game. That's absolutely trippy.

Ducks 3, Canucks 2
Corey Perry, who was eligible for selection in the 2006 NHL Entry Draft yet was not selected at all (feel better, Brady Quinn? You should), scored the game-winner on Roberto Luongo, who once went No. 1 in the same Draft. Here's the lesson Quinn should take away from this: someday in the future, the Browns will play the Raiders. Now, CBS will send their G-Level team to this game, because even though both fan bases are rabid, no one gives a crap. So, with Dan Bonner somehow on play by play ("But guys, I do college basketball color..."), Quinn will oppose Russell, and with :03 left, Quinn will absolutely bomb it out - showing Russell arm strength in the process - and hit Braylon Edwards in stride for a 77 yard TD. Edwards will then break his leg celebrating. Anyway, the point is, don't pass on Corey Perry. He can do some damage. So can the Ducks.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted's work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

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Posted on Sat Apr 28, 2007 at 09:45:03 AM EST in NHL
More on: Canucks, Ducks, Rangers, Sabres, NHL Playoffs, NHL (all tags)

Canucks 2, Ducks 1 Here's an interesting piece of irony: one of the guest bloggers for the NHL playoffs over at their website is the band Emerson Drive. Ironic, you say? But why? Their most notable single is "I Should be Sleeping," which pretty much summarizes every game the Canucks play this postseason. No, no - they're not boring. Rather, they start late (I mean, it is the Pacific Northwest) and they end even later. They went 4 OT with the Stars already these playoffs, and last night, they went 2 OT with the Ducks before winning to even the series. We assume Luongo is hitting the bottle pretty hard these days, nerves shaking and all. That water bottle atop the goal might just have a smidge of Irish Coffee in there.

Sabres 3, Rangers 2 In Buffalo's City Hall, there's a poster showing some magazine survey that ranked Buffalo "one of the 20 best American cities" (I have no idea what magazine would justifiably print that). Next to it, there's a poster the Mayor put in there himself. It shows two pictures: Lord Stanley and the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Under it, it reads, "Need these." Indeed they do. They're another step closer - to a rematch with their arch nemesis Senators, nonetheless. Lindy Ruff has the boxing gloves ready.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted's work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

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Posted on Fri Apr 27, 2007 at 08:22:14 AM EST in NHL
More on: NHL Playoffs, Sharks, Red Wings, Senators, Devils (all tags)

Sharks 2, Red Wings 0
I've written before about my fascination - perhaps of an unhealthy nature - with the San Jose Sharks. Long story short: a few weeks before my frosh year of college, my dad and I were buying posters; I liked the colors on the Sharks poster (you should have seen how I picked NCAA Tournament teams back then), and thus bought it; it led to an oddly interesting dynamic with a wallflower who lived down the hall from me. Basically, I think I made him throw up from drinking for the first time in his life (and the second, and third, but those are different matters). The Sharks, though, brought us together.

The one legitimate thing I liked about San Jose aside from their colors was how they manhandled Detroit that year they (SJ) were the 8 seed. Arturs Irbe? He was en fuego in that series. The image of those guys skating out of the shark's mouth en route to a massive upset is something that really kept me tuned into hockey back in the mid 1990s.

It appears San Jose is still owning Detroit, because in Game 1 of the Western Semis last night, they hung a 2-0 win on 'em. Nabokov had 34 saves. Mike Grier and Matt Carle - whose name doesn't even hyperlink off NHL.Com for some reason - provided the offense. I guess the moral of this story is, a shark will always eat an octopus (or, for that matter, a seal - you guys been watching Planet Earth?).

Senators 5, Devils 4
Two relevant things emerged from this game, in my mind, and I wouldn't call myself a "puckhead" by any means (maybe a "puckbunny," but that's an entirely different tangent), so maybe I'm wrong.

1. What's wrong with Marin Broduer? OK, he's old. And OK, the Devils still advanced out of the first round, but Vincent Lecavalier and Martin St. Louis basically tattooed their names all over Brodeur's back, posterior, and nether regions, smacking him around for 11 goals. The problem for Tampa Bay is, they only scored three other goals in all. Anyway, tonight he gives up a goal 90 seconds into the game - Jason Spezza - and then three more in the first period. The Devils are already in a 4-0 hole. How's a band of brothers going to come back from that? Huh? Huh? It hurts so good, Marty.

2. If anyone cares, what's the broader American sentiment on Dany Heatley these days? The guy is, for all intents and purposes, someone associated with murder. He also happens to be one of the best damn players in hockey; his two years in Ottawa, he's had over 100 points per season. In this game, he was one of the Fatal Four that scored on Martin B. in the first period, after a solid first round. What's your take: is Heatley a monster or a misunderstood offensive genius who was driving the wrong Ferrari at the wrong time? Frankly, I think mistakes happen, and sometimes they're absolutely awful in terms of their ramifications. An Eastern Conference Finals battle between Chris Drury, the boy who can do no wrong, and Dany Heatley, the brotha who can do no right, would be an absolutely intoxicating battle of Good vs. Evil. Yea, I'm a smidgeon melodramatic.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted's work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

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Posted on Wed Apr 25, 2007 at 08:54:15 AM EST in NHL
More on: Maggie the Monkey, NHL playoffs, NHL (all tags)

You know why we love Maggie the Monkey? Because she proved that a monkey spinning a wheel was just as good at picking games as a bunch of experts. Well, this year, she is totally letting us down. Going only 4-4 in the first round, Maggie is a disgrace. Hell, even Jeremy Roenick went 6-2. If she doesn't improve her picks in the second round... well, there's gotta be a hungry lion at the Zoo.

Here are Maggie's picks for the second round of the 2007 NHL playoffs:

Detroit over San Jose
Vancouver over Anaheim (oooooh! upset special)
Buffalo over NY Rangers
Ottawa over New Jersey

Maggie is going out on a limb here with the Canucks but at least she's not just betting the chalk.

Those of you with way too much time on your hands can watch video of Maggie making her picks. It's actually fairly amusing.

And for one final random piece of NHL news, the mayor of NY declined to do the traditional friendly "we'll send you our famous food, you send us a case of beer" wager with the mayor of Buffalo. Bloomberg must not like the Rangers chances.

Links:
[TSN]: NHL Playoff Picks

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Posted on Tue Apr 17, 2007 at 10:01:28 AM EST in NHL
More on: NHL playoffs, Maggie the Monkey, picks (all tags)

We love Maggie the Monkey around here. Even though she picked the Oilers to win the Cup last year, she has done an overall excellent job picking the NHL playoffs. She basically proves what we all know: that a monkey spinning a wheel could do just as well as an expert in picking games and series. We actually have no problem with the TSN folks so it's too bad a monkey consistently beats them out. We wish Maggie would pick NFL games too because we are convinced that she would beat Merrill Hoge easily.

Well, without further ado, here are Maggie's picks for the 2007 NHL playoffs:

Detroit vs Calgary: Detroit
Anaheim vs Minnesota: Minnesota
Vancouver vs Dallas: Vancouver
Nashville vs San Jose: Nashville
Buffalo vs NY Islanders: Buffalo
New Jersey vs Tampa Bay: New Jersey
Atlanta vs NY Rangers: Atlanta
Ottawa vs Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh

The Minnesota over Anaheim and Thrashers over Rangers isn't looking very good right now but keep the faith, Maggie gets stronger as the playoffs go on. And the playoff beard is impressive.

Links:
[TSN]: NHL Playoff Picks

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Posted on Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 03:02:25 PM EST in NHL
More on: NHL, NHL Playoffs, picks, gambling, Maggie the Monkey (all tags)

Ever since Eric McErlain from Off Wing Opinion joined us for the weekly podcast last week, we've been all over the NHL playoffs. And we've been rewarded with some damn exciting games over the weekend -- a couple of double-overtime games, 8-1 upsets -- we remember now why the NHL playoffs are better than the NBA playoffs.

In researching the experts picks for the series, we learned that Maggie the Monkey is the doyen of NHL prognosticators. Maggie, from Canadian sports network TSN, came into fame when she was the only expert on TSN to pick the Ducks to upset the Red Wings in 2003. She regulary does as well as any of the talking heads.

Oh, in case you didn't know, Maggie picks the teams by throwing feces onto a board. Wait, no, that's Darren Pang. Maggie spins a wheel.

Here are Maggie's picks for the first round this year.

Tampa Bay (8) over Ottawa (1)
Carolina (2) over Montreal (7)
New York Rangers (6) over New Jersey (3)
Buffalo (4) over Philly (5)
Detroit (1) over Edmonton (8)
Colorado (7) over Dallas (2)
Calgary (3) over Anaheim (6)
San Jose (5) over Nashville (4)

So far so good for Maggie. We'll update you after the first round.

Links:
[TSN.ca]: Monkey Business 2006

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