Odds and Ends: Oklahoma City is currently announcerless

Posted on Tue Jul 22, 2008 at 12:30:14 PM EST in NBA
More on: NBA, Oklahoma City, Kevin Calabro, soccer, Jeremy Shockey, NFL, Luol Deng, Terrell Owens, MLB, Ron Artest, Charles Barkley, pro wrestling, Erin Andrews, video, funny, Odds and Ends (all tags)

"OKC f'n sucks, kiddo"

The longtime voice of the Seattle Sonics has decided to forgo relocating to Oklahoma City, opting instead to remain in Seattle and become the announcer for the city's - get this - soccer team instead.

Kevin Calabro, the voice of the Sonics for 21 seasons, will become the voice of Seattle Sounders FC broadcasts as the team debuts in Major League Soccer next season. ...

"I'm thrilled to be part of Sounders FC soccer in a city that I know will embrace it," said Calabro. "Seattle is blessed to have devoted ownership as well and I know people will be excited about the possibilities."

Yea, we think it was the whole "Thundercats" speculation that kept him from taking the job too.

In other news...

[Uncoached]: Who says chicks can't dunk?

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Jeremy Shockey just realized he got traded to the Saints

[Shake dem Dreads]: 32 NFL teams, 115 dread heads. How's your team stack up?

[Chicago Bull]: Deng, they coulda had Kobe

[ESPN Page 2]: T.O. saves the day when Batman and Hancock couldn't

[NewsOK.com]: Thunder. Thundercats. Thunder. Yea, definitely a step in the right direction

[YepYep]: Top home plate collisions

[FanNation]: He wasn't involved in another Nipplegate, so we're going to let it slide

[CollegeHumor.com]: 3...2...1...Swish. "Sweet."

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dude A: "So, do you root for the Phillies or the Yankees?"

Dude B: "Feel deez nuts!"

[Need4Sheed.com]: Ron Artest might be a Piston?!? Shut the hell up!!

[Philly.com]: Charles Barkley gives his money away, but this time it's not to a casino

[NYPost.com]: Captain Lou Albano might be 75 years old, but he still knows how to throw a party

[JoeSportsFan.com]: Picture of Satan taking in a day at the ballpark

[The Redshirt Senior]: Hey, take it back; Erin Andrews is hot, you big liar! Did you even watch the ESPYs???

And finally, dude, you can win The Ultimate Warrior's shirt. Well, he's not really The Ultimate Warrior anymore, but he's the old, creepy dude who used to be The Ultimate Warrior. Still cool, right?

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Odds and Ends: Fodder for fantasy football fires

Posted on Wed Jun 25, 2008 at 12:12:20 PM EST in NFL
More on: NFL, fantasy football, Tiger Woods, Shaquille O'Neal, Jeremy Shockey, umpire, Kobe Bryant, Nas, Chuck Liddell, sports bras, video, Odds and Ends (all tags)

Remember back in the good ol' days when running backs where the most important position in the fantasy football universe. Well, thanks to the two-back system sensation that is sweeping the NFL nation, those days appear to be over; at least, according to WhatIfSports.com. They released their 08 season predicitions this week and the QBs are defiantly the dominant species with seven in the top 10 and 10 appearing in the top 15. Here's their breakdown of the top 10 scorers overall.

1. Tom Brady, QB, Patriots
2. Peyton Manning, QB, Colts
3. Tony Romo, QB, Cowboys
4. LaDanian Tomlinson, RB, Chargers
5. Brian Westbrook, RB, Eagles
6. Drew Brees, QB, Saints
7. Derek Anderson, QB, Browns
8. Carson Palmer, QB, Bengals
9. Adrian Peterson, RB, Vikings
10. Eli Manning, QB, Giants

Just for comparisons sake, here's a quick rundown of the projected top 10 players prior to the 2007 season as seen by SI.com:

1. LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, Chargers
2. Steven Jackson, RB, Rams
3. Larry Johnson, RB, Chiefs
4. Frank Gore, RB, 49ers
5. Shaun Alexander, RB, Seahawks
6. Willie Parker, RB, Steelers
7. Rudi Johnson, RB, Bengals
8. Brian Westbrook, RB, Eagles
9. Peyton Manning, QB, Colts
10. Joseph Addai, RB, Colts

In other news...

[The Beardown]: Buy Tiger Woods' apple cores??

[Tirico Suave]: Maricopa County sheriff asks "Shaq, tell me how my ass tastes"

[Giants Football Blog]: Michael Strahan reveals Jeremy Shockey wants out of NYC. Well, duh!

[Deuce of Davenport]: KITT is still cooler than the Hoff

[Bugs & Cranks]: Attack of the broken bat

[Sportaphile.com]: Kobe Bryant continues to take a beating, this time from rapper Nas

[PartMule.com]: "Holy Jesus, look at the butt on that"

[YouTube.com]: You can find Chuck Liddell in the club

[Epic Carnival]: Yippee!! It's National Sports Bra Week

[Home Run Derby]: The Jheri Curl All-Stars

And finally, crunk is officially dead. Let the era of mumbles begin.

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Odds and Ends: Retief Goosen calls Tiger a faker

Posted on Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 01:03:48 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: Retief Goosen, Tiger Woods, Jeremy Shockey, NASCAR, MMA, Heisman, texting, moustaches, MLB, thongs, Odds and Ends (all tags)

The entire nation was practically pulling for Tiger Woods last weekend when he was playing in agony with a bum wheel last weekend at the U.S. Open. Well, almost the entire nation. Turns out that Retief Goosen thinks the Oscar for worst acting should have gone to Tiger.

"It just seemed when he hit bad shots his knee was in pain and on his good shots he wasn't."

Asked if he felt Woods could have been faking it, Goosen said: "I think so."

"You see when he made the putts and he went down on his knees and shouting `yeah', his knee wasn't sore. Nobody knows if he was just showing off or if he was really injured, and I believe if he was injured he would not have played. But it was a great win."

I like Goosen's I think the sonofabitch faked the whole thing but it was a great win approach. Slam a guy and then clean it up with a throwaway compliment. When pressed about his comments Retief said he was just kidding.. Sort of.

"I was being light-hearted."

"No one but Tiger knows how badly hurt he was. But if he was really badly hurt, he would have withdrawn wouldn't he?"

In other news...

[HotStoveNewYork.com]: You got your ring, now scram!

[Answer this...]: NASCAR officials are racists and sexists...no way!

[The Sports Muffin]: List of the top 10 MMA fighters. Sorry, Jesse Taylor didn't make the cut

[HeismanPundit.com]: Who Won't Win The Heisman

[LGTexter.com]: Move over competitive eaters, you have some serious competition in the dork department

[Comcast.net]: Moustache mania

[eBay]: Moustache mania part deux

[eTrueSports.com]: New York's newest power couple

[Cuzoogle.com]: 10 Wheaties boxes you will never see

[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]: Somehow, Man-Ram didn't make the MLB's All-Crazy Team

And finally, we bring you the story of a defective thong.

A Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria's Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer.

The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria's Secret "low-rise v-string," according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.

Patterson's lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a "design problem" caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.

Patterson's product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.

The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria's Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson's lawyer.

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We know about hairy palms, but what causes purple palms?

Posted on Wed Aug 15, 2007 at 09:47:26 AM EST in NFL
More on: Jeremy Shockey, Giants, prank, purple, funny (all tags)

New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey just got punk'd. But don't expect him to be appearing with that douche Ashton Kutcher on MTV anytime soon because this prank wasn't some elaborate scheme concocted the notorious MILFaholic. Nope, this was an inside job and Shockey is determined to get to the bottom of it.

The crap hit the fan after Tuesday's practice when Shockey went to sign some autographs and when he pulled off his gloves his left hand was stained purple with dye that banks use to mark money. The embarrassment of the stain should last for days, but that's nothing compared to the eternal embarrassment Shockey lives with daily. Nevertheless, he was pissed.

Dead man walking," he warned

Apparently, guard Rich Seubert is the resident prankster and while all the fingers are pointing directly at him, he swears up and down that he had nothing to do with the glove conspiracy.

Everyone thinks it's me," said Seubert, who offered "a cash reward" to anyone who revealed the mastermind behind the purple hand. "I think it was the ballboys. They're all getting dumped in the cold tub.

Links:
[NYPost.com]: Prankster has Jeremy in rage

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Poker Playing Chimp denied entry to WSOP

Posted on Tue Aug 01, 2006 at 02:36:03 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: poker, Jeremy Shockey (all tags)

Remember that publicity stunt we told you about last week where a company was training a chimp to play poker and wanted to enter him into a WSOP event for $10,000? Well, the WSOP people have nixed it.

He will not be registered, nor will he play," said Gary Thompson, spokesman for the World Series of Poker. "We are not letting any chimpanzees in. It would be cruel to the chimpanzee and unfair to our players.

Too bad this didn't happen. It would have been hilarious to see one of the poker "stars" get knocked out by a chimp or get some feces thrown on them. By the way, who are these people lining up to get autographs of poker players? It's not a sport, people!

Speaking of chimps...

[Miami Herald]: Nick Saban turns down invitation to have dinner with Bush

In other news...

[Yahoo]: Kellen Winslow says he's misunderstood...blah blah blah

[NY Post]: Jeremy Shockey calls Tom Coughlin an "ass"

[Sports Chanting]: Top 10 Hottest Female Sportscasters

[10000 Takes]: Brett Favre Is Like A Snow Globe

[Subway Serial]: New Mets Team Rules

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