For some strange reason Chris Berman wants to cover the CFL

Posted on Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 12:54:30 PM EST in NFL
More on: Chris Berman, Canada, pills, NFL, video (all tags)

Apparently ESPN is yanking all the instant classic clips of Chris Berman off YouTube. But don't think for a second they can kill our fun. If you ask us, the Chris Berman off-air rant has become a cult classic and there will always be a gem rising to the surface. Here's the latest leak we could find, enjoy it while it lasts.

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War with Canada narrowly avoided

Posted on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 11:54:03 AM EST in MLB
More on: Blue Jays, Dodgers, Canada, border war (all tags)

We almost had a political disaster on our hands Saturday night when the Toronto Blue Jays played the LA Dodgers. A Canadian fan was harassed by a Dodger Stadium security guard for waving a Canadian flag. The offending fan was Lee Fraser who is the president of Canadians Abroad, a bunch of expats who attend games together when teams from Canada visit.

The Dodgers have a policy prohibiting signs and banners and that includes any flags, even the U.S. flag. Security officials warned Fraser that he could hold it up during the Canadian national anthem but not to wave it during the game. When he did start waving it during the sixth inning, a security guard tried to confiscate it and that lead to a 100-person brawl heated discussion between security, LAPD, and 100 or so Canadians. Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and nobody was seriously injured, although there was a report of an "inadvertent shove."

Even though Fraser had the last word ("The whole crew went crazy. They sent down three or four security guards, the LAPD. Because, you know, Canadians are such a big threat."), we have to side with the security guards in this case. They were just following rules. If the Canadians can wave a flag, next thing you know, those crazy rabid fans from SF will be waving a Giants flag and then we'll end up with 51 states.

Links:
[The Star]: Canadian fan hassled for doing wave with flag

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Ben Johnson is still disgracing Canada after all these years

Posted on Thu May 03, 2007 at 09:10:54 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: Ben Johnson, steroids, Canada (all tags)

Sorry Ben, they still haven't
forgotten.

Canada has lots of enduring qualities: clean air, government sponsored health care, Labatt Blue Beer (actually the jury is still out on that one), and according to Bowling for Columbine, nobody bothers to lock their doors. Oh and don't forget that its home to North America's version of Amsterdam in British Columbia. But, believe it or not, Canada actually has some bad qualities as well, namely it's residents.

A Canadian magazine, The Beaver (we laughed too), is conducting a search to find the "worst Canadian" of all-time and amongst the possible winners are some of the most vile and reprehensible criminals to ever call live in Canada. And then there's Ben Johnson. You might remember Johnson as the world's fastest man, but if you do then you need to seriously brush up on your sports history because he was quickly stripped of his medal for the tainted 9.79 seconds of shame due to the use of steroids.

You would think that the Canadians would be over this by now, after all it did happen in 1988 but noted Canadian historian Will Ferguson still seems a bit bitter.

He (Ferguson) refused to divulge details about his planned nominee. But he did mention disgraced sprinter Ben Johnson "humiliated Canada" at the 1988 Olympics by testing positive for steroids, and called Charles Lawrence -- the 18th-century governor of Nova Scotia who orchestrated the expulsion of the Acadians -- "an example of someone who has had a huge negative impact" on the country's history.

Now, we're no experts on our neighbors to the north but we'd have to say that the person who removed an entire population from the country would have to be considered to be a tad worse Canadian than some dude who poked himself full of the juice. But, hey, this is Canada's poll, so we know that it's gonna be all jacked up. This is the country where Terrance and Phillip rein supreme, right?

Links:
[Edmonton Journal]: History magazine launches search for `worst Canadian'
[Steroid Nation]: Ben Johnson in running for `Worst Canadian Ever'

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This could lead to an exodus to Canada

Posted on Tue Mar 06, 2007 at 11:29:30 AM EST in NBA
More on: drugs, pot, Canada, NBA, NFL (all tags)

A top drug testing official in Canada said that marijuana should be removed from the list of banned drugs because it's taking time and resources away from catching people who are actually cheating.

For athletes to be punished, they have to show a level of marijuana in their systems that indicates regular use, or some attempt to get an edge, said Joseph de Pencier of the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sports, the group that administers drug testing to athletes in Canada.

Why is this story filed under the NBA? Well, cause everyone knows that 75% of the NBA smokes pot. Could you imagine if the NFL or NBA decided it was no longer going to test for pot? It'd be like the end of prohibition. Pacman Jones would have a field day. Ricky Williams could come back to the NFL. Michael Vick wouldn't have to worry about smuggling it in water bottles. Wait a minute, maybe this story should have been filed under the NFL.

Links:
[CBC Sports]: Sports officials debate removing marijuana from ban

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