Categories
College Football

Maurice Clarett is retarded

“Slo” Mo has turned into Mo-ron Clarett. According to Columbus NBC 4, there is a warrant out for Maurice Clarett after he allegedly robbed 2 people at gun point outside a club. He ran off after someone from the club came out, was unaware that he was robbing 2 people, and started talking to him. (“Hey Mo, what’s shaking?… oh you’re robbing 2 people. My bad. I’ll go back in now.”) Here’s a little tip for you wannabe gangstas: do not rob people where you are most likely to be recognized. I’m sure 95% of Americans wouldn’t be able to pick Clarett out of a lineup, but the genius decides to rob someone in a city where he is most likely to be recognized by 99% of the residents.

Categories
College Football

FSU Linebacker Suspended Until Proven Innocent

We’re not saying he isn’t guilty, but according to the Miami Herald, charges haven’t even been filed against A.J. Nicholson who has been accused of raping a 19 year old acquaintance in a Hollywood hotel.  Yet, Bobby Bowden has suspended the leading FSU tackler for the Orange Bowl “for violating a team rule”.  

I guess when you’re Bobby Bowden and you’ve had major fiascos leading up to recent bowl games (Darnell Dockett, Chris Rix, Snoop Minnis), you have to be quick on the trigger and give some semblance that the inmates aren’t indeed running the asylum.  Not that it matters anyway, FSU is 9.5 pt underdogs against Penn State.

[Miami.com]: FSU football player accused of raping woman at Hollywood hotel

[floridastate.rivals.com]: Message board discussion
[Seminoles.com]: no mention whatsoever

Categories
College Football

They don’t give awards for that

There’s a story going around that Matt Leinart was drunk at a party and groped some girl.  What’s the big deal?  Well, apparently the girl didn’t want to be groped by Matt Leinart.  She must be insane or something because, well, he’s Matt Leinart.  He’s only trying to fulfill his mission before he graduates.

From thesuperficial.com:

[Leinart] was at Marquee last night, and hit on one of the girls from texas all night, danced with her, and then was so drunk he groped her….she turned around and slapped him, and left.

Categories
College Football

Duwhahuh?

Since when does Congress have the right to intervene into college football? Since when does Congess have a right to waste its precious time investigating whether or not the BCS should stay?

I thought that Congress had better things to do, like help beat plowshares into swords for this tired old man that we elected king. But I guess not.

So this offseason, the BCS will be under investigation by the Congress of the United States of America.

Stop wasting our money!!!

Categories
College Football

Coaching leads to drunk driving

Coaching kids who can’t drink must be really hard for people. On Saturday night, two coaches were arrested on drunk driving charges. We understand why Ohio Coach Frank Solich would drink himself into a stupor and pass out at his steering wheel — his team is 4-7 and stinks. But why would an assistance coach at Cinci do it? They are 3-0. Yet, doing Solich one better, Keith LeGree was found passed out on the wheel with his foot on the brake, a plastic cup and an open bottle by his side.

These guys shouldn’t worry too much though. They have bright futures. Drunk driving apparently is a gateway to political power.