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The godfather of finger jousting has absolutely no life


Dear Sports Column:

I must say that I enjoy your tactics of passive-aggression. Instead of replying with an equally witty and derisive reply or at least the common “don’t worry about it” approach, you post the email in a blog entry and attempt to deride the organization in order to gain readership. I would have guessed that you would have taken this approach, but I assumed as the editor, you were of a higher class than the writer (rather than one-in-the-same). Excluding the fact, that your new entry was highly amateurish and of the literary level I would expect from an 8th Grader, it was actually quite humorous at some points. The humor did not extend, however, into the title of the entry or the caption under that entirely too old image of me; the middle finger/finger jousting comparison has been around longer than the amount of time you last were in contact with a person of the opposite gender,
and the rhyming of a profanity with Gluck is equally as old considering it has been used by drill instructors in the military with members of my family for generations, and I used a portmanteau and satire of the like sounds in my campaign for class president (I didn’t run on a finger jousting platform, though I am sure you guys would have gotten a kick out of that, and I did win).

Blabbering fool with a dull tongue? I actually thought the allusions were quite amusing like a Dennis Miller sketch but with apropos verbosity in accordance with your level of education (or so I inferred from the diction and syntax of your articles). That all was just to have some fun and nothing truly offensive; it was too corny to
be, and I was just pointing out that your article could have at least taken a neutral position instead of a poor commentarial one. Splicing up my letter to suit your purposes though was a little under-handed and what about “the ability to stop the war in Iraq?” What bearing do your political policies have in relation to this topic? Your article is full of more ad hominem, ad ignorantiam, and attempts to change the subject than an attorney’s cross-examination.

I do however appreciate your statement that “everybody needs something to believe in, regardless of how ridiculous it is” and at least giving it some value as “thumb wrestling 2.0.” I do believe it has a higher value and substance than your journalism since journalism is displaying already created or occurred content to the masses, and this is original in itself. What’s more amazing is that you posted this and put it on the blog’s homepage; there must be very little going on in the sports world today, or you guys are fresh out of anything interesting;
maybe you just didn’t score that interview with Barry Bonds? Any real sports journalism website would either have not even bothered to send back a reply or just sent a “you are lame” email instead of trying to make a giant news story out of it. Heck, I haven’t even mentioned this on our website. What would the title be anyways: “Asinine Amateur Sports Blog Poorly Derides Finger Jousting.” I am pretty sure our readers would just laugh at your article as garrulous garbage; the other games you mentioned are pretty laughable but ultimate Frisbee is a growing sport, and you had some backlash by players in your article on it. Seriously though, by posting it up there, you really are only helping us out by garnering more hits to our site and really “all press is good press.”

Do I consider myself a humanitarian? Of course, I do not. I try my best to help out my fellow man through service in the Air Force Auxiliary, state house of representatives, school, and community service (as well as other members of the Federation do as well)-and through the slice of revenue sent by the WFJF to help out these causes rather than paying for items I could use-but I am no humanitarian. I wish I could send you the picture of the child with muscular dystrophy that we helped out this year though. It is some pretty powerful imagery. Thank you for your time and may the joust be with you!

Cordially,
Julian R. Gluck
The Lord of the Joust
President of the WFJF
www.FingerJoust.com

Sportscolumn Translation: “My name is Julian Gluck. I finger joust with other men and I have never touched a woman.”

7 replies on “The godfather of finger jousting has absolutely no life”

Seriously — I’ve only never touched a woman if your mother is a man. That is all. You guys aren’t even worth emails anymore since you guys have absolutely nothing of value to come back with except Middle School level jokes. You are blog sports journalists; that is about as low as it gets. Go do a real story.

finger joust — whoever said that finger jousting is stupid should be banned from this site. this guy is not athletic at all and is unsure of his sexuality by claiming that the sport is gay. all of the participants in the last event had girlfriends. maybe this guy  is trying to make fun of a prestigious organization because he  doesn’t want to be made fun of. lol. if anyone is gay, you are gay fingerjoust hater.

fingerjoust hater — my name is queer. and i sit here and talk trash about other people and organizations because women don’t like me. in fact, even though miss teen georgia presented the awards at the ceremony, i think that fingerjousting is gay because I HAVE NO FIRENDS AND GIRLS DON”T LIKE ME .. get a life

Law — If you break your arm playing backyard football, can you sue the NFL? Competition is done at risk by one’s own will, and the WFJF is not liable. If that was true, I would go out and break my neck playing soccer, so I could sue FIFA, ha!

Absolutely Childish — I must say, I am amazed by this blog sports site and its abundance of ignorance and childishness. This is exactly why this site will most likely never be anything more than a blog site. Professional sport writers, and many amateur sports writers, would never write such childish remarks. Due to the severe lack of proper journalism, this Finger-Joust-Bashing article does not even come close to qualifying as a sports column, and therefore, even the name of the site is absurd and a gross misnomer. Real sports writing requires authentic journalism, something that the writer of this article clearly lacks.

site needs improvement /adult editor — I agree with Dwarf Rambo completely. Have you ever been in a fight before in your life? If you have, imagine twenty times that pain and then add the equivalent pain from any given scene in hostel and thats what a lagrange beating would be like for you. Our football players proudly support finger jousting and they have been known to send people to the hospital for various reasons (ruptured spleen, broken neck, broken legs, broken arms, and broken jaw). I bet the guy who got his jaw broken wishes he had never opened it in the first place. If you don’t like finger jousting, don’t make a blog about it. Its That Simple.

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